Jon Barrow

@piersmorgan @GaryLineker As long as he doesn’t shit himself you’ll be alright

Delighted to announce that I’ve hired a new personal cook. Welcome, Chef Gaz ⁦@GaryLineker⁩ - I’ve heard great things about what a decent, loyal, talented, entertaining bloke you are…just no social media posting while you’re in the kitchen please.

@AdamBlackmore I miss cortese

Commentatorballs. These are real quotes from real sports commentators, sent in by readers. Watch 'An Evening with Private Eye 2024' in full, on YouTube now.

@IdentityDisc @domjoly What’s the building industry got to do with this ?

@domjoly I thought he'd moved over to the building industry with that statement, it's clearly cemented his demise.

Reform Party must be looking to him as their next signing

@UB1UB2 @HarveyRides Genuinely made me smile

This is elite level pettiness 😭😭 @HarveyRides

@june2locked @thecatsmother58 @macnahgalla So 3.2 hours a day, sounds tough

@thecatsmother58 @macnahgalla You know on universal credit you've to look for work for more than 16 hours a week.

So I’m in London for the weekend. “Her indoors” wants to visit the Tower of London. Entry is £34.80 each. If I were on universal credit or other benefits then that entry price would be reduced to a single £1.00. Why do we reward those unwilling to work? This country is so fucked….

@qsteeuk @duff91 @thecatsmother58 @macnahgalla Or just don’t t want to be a scrounger and being proud in themselves for earning things in life

@goldcarcares can I have a response to my email as you are wrongly trying to charge me for excess mileage. You claim I have driven 8118 KM in 3 days I only did a total of 142 KM I’d like my deposit back

19th November 2005 Some things never change, bottling a 3-0 lead at home 😭 #SaintsFC

@Peter67305335 @racingunner @SouthamptonFC @Ricksingclu @Argentina Are you off your head

@racingunner @SouthamptonFC @Ricksingclu @Argentina Cos he’s underperforming that’s why !

🇦🇷 A first senior @Argentina call-up Vamos, Charly! ✨

@Vor82 Never a low blow

2 judges from Poland 😂

@DavidKegga @rahsh33m Really fancy some lamb chops now

@rahsh33m It’s always without fail black American women in these videos 😂😂😂😂

This is why I eat alone 🤣

@solentsport @ChrisBillam Absolute shambles of an event never seen such poor organisation and inadequate stewarding

🔥🔊Have you ever heard Vitality Stadium this loud before? @ChrisBillam makes his way to the ring with some help from legendary #afcb fan Nonny 🍒 #afcb | #OkolieBillamSmith

@AlfieHouseEcho Was a great day out despite the result

🗓️ It’s been 20 years exactly since Southampton played in the 2003 FA Cup final. Managed by Gordon Strachan, they were edged out by a Robert Pires strike for Arsenal. Were you in attendance? #SaintsFC

This week in 1982 Southampton scored one of the greatest team goals you’ll ever see. 💪 Keegan’s header 🎯 One-touch football ⚽️ The finish 🎉 The celebration Hang it in the fucking Louvre.

@chriscox7 @SouthamptonFC I just don’t think you understand 😉

Dear @SouthamptonFC fans going tomorrow, please get behind the players and don’t start singing about the coach we have in charge if we are winning.. We need to get behind JWP and his team mates, they need to know we believe in them. Coyr 🔴⚪️🔴⚪️

Southampton inventing football back in 1982

@DaveBarrow1256 @SagED_UP Nah this Eddie

@SagED_UP Obviously this Eddie

@chriscox7 @SouthamptonFC Stop being a pleb

@SouthamptonFC please don’t make a rash decision on the result. I may be the only fan who still backs you and Jones. But that for an hour was a good performance. Individual mistakes cost us again. Trust your decision in Jones

@danreeves11 When did Hainsy get the op done ?