𝔭𝔥𝔬𝔢𝔟𝔢 🥀

referred to a customer’s cat as “they” because i didn’t pick it up to see what it was packing and he said “she, not they” in a very annoyed tone.

Charli XCX told me I was in charge of “anti marketing” for her new album. I asked what she meant and she said “did you fucking ever watch Seinfeld. Get your shit together, get out of my face. It’s J. Peterman Summer bitch.”

@DreamLeaf5 What do you mean “somehow” it did that shit

@bbfeebeee I like how the watermelon somehow grows eyeballs, noses, and horns

old people everywhere are opening their wallets at this very second

@EntryLvlNut I can’t say I’m a fan either

@bbfeebeee This is one of the worst takes I've seen on twitter

phoebe found dead in a ditch

@stacycay Oh yeah that’s true I guess

@bbfeebeee Unfortunately there isn’t a Hollister and Abercrombie in the Newport News/Norfolk area anymore so we’d have to settle for American eagle

@stacycay Shit where are you tryna go?

@bbfeebeee Girl I’m bored let’s go shopping

@N0tYepElad I mainly just look gay which is fine!

@h0rs3m3at me

@bbfeebeee Who

@GreyJediRia I’m not a gardener so I’ve gotta pass

@bbfeebeee I need this

@TheAng3lAria Big fan of the snake sticking its tongue out

@bbfeebeee I love how the dog-melon legs fill up from the bottom out of absolute nothingness

Introducing The FADER's July 2026 cover star: @underscoresplus A monumental first half of 2026 propelled the 26-year-old from the underground to the brink of the mainstream. She’s figuring it all out in real time. “A lot of crazy things are happening. A bunch of famous people are following me, and I'm not reacting to it at all,” she says. "For some reason right now, I just can’t pay attention to it. I gotta keep going." Read more: features.thefader.com/underscores

@mjauwee ~technology baby~ 🤠

@bbfeebeee it's amazing how the melon turns black in just the right places

@stalejuulpod Just zero continuity lol

@bbfeebeee the containers opening and closing a different way every time is so insane

reaching out to people when ur having a rough time feels like a humiliation ritual

@N0tYepElad Hard agree

type of shit people will watch in the hospital waiting room while you’re having the worst nervous breakdown of your life

I’m just assuming anyone who owns these is going to end up on the sex offender registry one day, and that’s if they aren’t already on it.

like tim robinson bringing the dog home in the chair company about killed me dead. absolute all timer bit.

guy who sucks bringing a dog home is one of the funniest things you can put in your tv show