Beat Your Genes Podcast

@algekalipso Beatyourgenes.org We’re a psychology podcast!

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Great news, we’re back on YouTube! You’ll find new episodes there, and we’ll continue posting episodes on X as well!

You can't Jedi mind trick yourself into caring less. Dr. Lisle on why your partner's habits drive you crazy and what to actually do about it. Episode 380: You Are Not Over-Reacting

@CostelloWilliam @JaimieKrems Congrats! Looking forward to it when it comes out!

Fantastic news to wake up to. Our paper on courtship in cross-sex friendship has been accepted at Evolution and Human Behavior. Coming soon in @JaimieKrems’ special issue on friendship.

The care gap isn't a power move. It's a signal. Dr. Doug Lisle explains what it actually means and why the conventional framing gets it completely backwards. New episode.

Episode 378: All’s Fair in Love, War, AI, and the Marketplace 00:52 Local artist asks how to compete when others are selling AI art as hand-painted originals 17:12 Music innovation caused the Fall of the Opera House 31:48 There is no stopping innovation 43:22 What about other jobs being taken by AI? X: @BeatYourGenes Web: beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

@austrobrady Surely he wasn't talking about Beat Your Genes or Evolutionary Psychology!

@meganemethArt 🤯

@beatyourgenes So Christianity, Catholicism, Islam, Judaism… these are like pizza places

Episode 377: Dr. Lisle ESCAPES Dubai … to talk about Acceptance/Commitment therapy Dear Dr. Lisle, I am curious what your thoughts are on Acceptance and Commitment therapy? I am a psychologist, and I have to use this method at my job, and I have noticed that some of the points of the treatment is a bit similar to your method. For example the focus on committing to value-driven behavior to give purpose in life is similar to the behavior that brings us closer to our survival and reproductive goals. However it seems like the method see negative thoughts and feelings as something we should just accept as part of life, and not something that should guide our behavior in any way, and instead it says that it should be our values that guide our behavior. It feels like they got it right with the committed action, but it feels like a mistake to dismiss our thoughts and feelings like that. What do you think about this? 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 2:09 Iran bombs Dubai while Dr. Lisle is there 18:50 Psychologist asking about Acceptance & Commitment Therapy 27:00 Your values are innate including religious beliefs 46:45 Limits to facing the facts of reality 1:00:48 Psychotherapy basic principles are like friendships 1:13:14. The future of psychotherapy 1:16:03 Final thoughts X: @BeatYourGenes Web: beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

@flabbytofit99 My mom had a sign in the kitchen “You have 2 choices for dinner: Take it or Leave it”

My kids used to be picky eaters. Wouldn't touch vegetables. Complained about everything. I tried reasoning with them. Bribing them. Making separate meals. Nothing worked. Dinner was a battlefield. Then I stopped fighting and started leading. Here's what changed: I STOPPED NEGOTIATING AT MEALS Dinner isn't a restaurant. You don't get to order off-menu. I serve what I serve. You eat it or you don't. But I'm not forcing you. I'm not arguing about it. You're hungry? Food's on your plate. You're not? That's fine too. No drama. No lectures. No power struggle. I CUT THE CONSTANT SNACKING Kids weren't hungry at meals because they were grazing all day. Goldfish at 10am. Fruit snacks at 2pm. Graham crackers at 4pm. They showed up to dinner with zero appetite. So I stopped it. Three meals. Maybe one planned snack if there's a long gap. That's it. When they're actually hungry? They eat what's in front of them. I DIDN't MAKE IT PERSONAL This is where most dads screw up. They take it as disrespect when their kid won't eat. So they get mad. Lecture. Turn it into a fight. Your kid not liking broccoli isn't an attack on you. They're learning what they like. That's normal. Your job isn't to force them. It's to provide good food and let natural hunger do the rest. WHAT THIS ISN'T This isn't starving your kids. This isn't refusing to acknowledge real food sensitivities. This isn't serving the same meal they rejected at dinner for breakfast the next day. It's removing the power struggle so hunger can do its job. WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED First few days? They tested me. Skipped meals. Complained they were hungry later. I stayed calm: "Breakfast is at 7. You'll eat then." Within a week? They started eating what I served. Not because I won some battle. Because they were actually hungry and I wasn't making it weird. Now my kids eat vegetables. Try new foods. Don't complain. Not because they're perfect. Because I stopped treating meals like negotiations. Your kids don't need a short-order cook. They need a dad who leads without turning dinner into a war zone.

Episode 376: He wants the Physical, She wants the Emotional 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 2:10 A little bit about Bitcoin 2:40 Q1: He wants sex, she wants connection 10:45 Females are defensive until they see love cues 22:25 Suspected key issue 29:15 Could it be a phone addiction? 32:50 Q2: Are people doing romance backwards? 42:15 Can I be happy without a partner? 52:16 Final thoughts X: @BeatYourGenes Web: beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

Episode 375: Am I Still Hot? The OCD-Like Anxiety of Aging Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld. 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 0:45 A little bit about Bitcoin 3:45 Listener is Coming to Terms with her Aging 12:25 Personality traits are on a Bell curve 22:20 Aging anxiety is normal and common 40:10 An interesting experiment 47:30 Final thoughts X: @BeatYourGenes Web: beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast Psychologist mentioned in the show: Laura Bruce, Ph.D. PhillyOCD.com

@brettpeirce @mysteriouskat 😅

@mysteriouskat Isn't that most podcasts?

There are bedtime stories for kids to help them fall asleep, but how about bedtime stories for adults? Seems like a good niche to explore.

374: Gloat Therapy: What to Do with a Defiant Child 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:20 Q1: Single mom asks for advice on dealing with her out of control son 13:30 Cognitive dissonance in a mom 20:55 Personality does not deteriorate 35:35 Gloat Therapy 46:00 Limitations of Positive/Negative Reinforcement 57:45 Final thoughts X: @BeatYourGenes Web: beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

@MaclarenWrites @Theholisticpsyc It’s not evidence based psychology though. It’s just trauma-mongering.

Behind most obsessive, workaholic men is a scared little boy who never got his father's love and approval.

@AlpacaAurelius Looks like meat has a negative effect on attractiveness of body odor, though pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16891352/

Men’s sweat soothes a woman’s soul I’m this study, armpit sweat from men was applied to women’s lips. It decreased tension, decreased stress and boosted their mood significantly. It also increased LH, a signal to ovulate. The best part is that every woman guessed the researchers applied cologne or alcohol to their lips. Colognes are beta. Let your natural scent shine.

Link to the paper on Tendency for Victimhood doi.org/10.1016/j.paid…

Episode 373: Tendency for Victimhood, I was in a Traumatic Relationship – How to Recover? 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 02:07 The Year of Dr. Lisle’s Book 3:13 New Personality Trait? Tendency for Victimhood 30:30 Disagreeable with a few moving parts 41:28 Q1: Past traumatic relationship – how to start dating again? 1:05:20 Final thoughts X: @BeatYourGenes Web: beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

Episode 372: Love, Lust, Lies & Lost Motivation 0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro 01:45 Q1: Dating broke, unmotivated men in my 70’s 13:40 Q2: Reparations: Trade, Force, or Fraud? 28:10 Q3: Daughter likes Bad Boys, but Mom and Dad want her to date the Dull Nice Guys 38:23 Q4: Searching for Spark After Lifelong Apathy 49:00 Final thoughts X: @BeatYourGenes Web: beatyourgenes.org Doug Lisle, PhD esteemdynamics.com Nathan Gershfeld, DC fastingescape.com Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

@GadSaad @prvkhvr So great to see other EvoPsych podcasts out there!

A Deep Dive Into Evolutionary Psychology - hosted by @prvkhvr