sexy self defence

(Playing mandolin more aggressively than my bluegrass colleagues) On the big rock candy mountain, there’s a man who steals your bike

With Austin Powers come Austin Responsibilites

@jals @the_gunnshow I walked out of the mall sometime around 6:30 PM

@the_gunnshow Did you know there was a shooting tonight at West Ed before 8?

a team of experts are trying to figure out if JonBenet Ramsey said something racist on the night of her death

@jals @the_gunnshow I think Steve’s new one should be Costco Business Centre

@bernard_olson @the_gunnshow Mental Illness for a British white rapper.

Driving in reverse should gain fuel

Austin Powers: (realizing there is a hell and it's the toil of everyday life) wait a tick

my most hated james bond theory is that yes there was a real life james bond but he died in saddam husseins tiger pit

Dwayne "The Post-Rock" Johnson

Why are people waiting for the bus? It’s not that great

Ch-ch-ch-chia! #MyTwitterAnniversary

I don’t like that my phone stops charging at 100 percent. It should charge further

Brave Little Toaster: Judgement Day

dude supplements

SearchHistory Sphinx paradox: there are 0 search results for SearchHistory Sphinx

1st place isn’t enough

you think you could do my job?

ace ventura’s behavior was not “alrighty then” and it’s not alrighty now