Bethany Roberts

Um, I feel seen

@genderjoy Fine art student concentrating in abstract painting and collage. Has dabbled in mushrooms but usually just sticks to the devils lettuce. Has remarkably high academic marks. Likes to nap and keep to herself, a favorite of most of the professors.

@genderjoy Calvin: Frat bro, tried to get a football scholarship but didn’t make the team, binge drinks on the weekend and does a lot of weed, constantly has the munchies. Majors in Sports Management, on every type of probation there is.

New Jersey and Delaware will be merging to become one state, named “New Delaware”. We’re offering @NJGov a fresh start. We’ll forget about all that stuff in the past. The capital will be the @demembridge, jughandles will be banned, and the full coastline will be “the beach.”

Hey @Macys, the CDC reports that more men than women are dying of COVID-19, so maybe y’all should be marketing free masks with purchase to men and give women the bluetooth speakers🤔 or, you know, give everyone both? It’s 2021. Be better.

my cat has become OBSESSED with sitting in on my zoom calls and has now perfected the art of glaring straight down the camera

@abgutman @JohnFetterman This is treason

I keep thinking of all the Super Bowl rings the Buffalo Bills would have if they’d stopped the game in the 3rd quarter.

Me lookin at that student loan debt forgiveness and the free 2 years of college, that is coming in my future

Let’s not forget this gem in the Trump Covid crap. Secretly recorded audio tapes aired on CNN capture Melania Trump talking about criticism over border separation policy twitter.com/i/events/13118…

@Memyselfandfia @CamiAnnS @chrissyteigen Tearing people down takes no imagination and creativity. Building others up, speaking with kindness, and practicing self control on impulsive and hurtful comments takes integrity and character. I believe you are capable of the latter.

@thenikkidiaries youtube.com/watch?v=GGXEB2…

“Look I don’t know if I’m going to have a career after this but, f**k that.” John Boyega.

I propose that Aubrey Plaza Plaza also have a 4th Street-esque McDonalds in which reinactments of the Chickening. @evilhag

When friends are thoughtful and squirrels are terrorists. @starbucks #revenge #squirrelhunting #nofilter @ Wilmington, Delaware instagram.com/p/CAafFCsF5ad/…

@ShopRiteStores , why does your website automatically redirect me to a queue? I’m just trying to see the circular, not wait for shop from home. Do I now need to wait to even acces website content?

I offered both Pres Trump and VP Pence an opportunity to reassure Americans. Simple question: “What do you say to Americans who are scared?” Trump, to me: “I say, you’re a terrible reporter.” Pence, an hour later: “Don’t be afraid. Be vigilant.”