store brand john mulaney

Paul Blart Mall Klarp

Was in a restaurant the other day that played yellow by Coldplay and pay phone by maroon 5 within the span of a meal. Both great songs so, nothing really notable about this

First time making lasagna. Starting to see how it earned its name! Yeah, it take sa damn lang a to la amke to make la to asagn agn the damn plate la sa in the gasne oven!

highly scientific stuff going on here

very funny that these are the only options for this question on the senior survey

John lemon 🍋

I was satisfied with the Soccer Mommy on April 7

Billy Joel trying to be reassuring: uhh never change your clothes. or your hair. (sweating) you’re not clever, but in a good way. It’s nice that I don’t have to try hard when I’m talking to you

Sad to see the college is still firmly in the pocket of Big Maple

Asparagus and beets earn their place among the most exciting tier of vegetables by providing the momentary thrill of thinking you’re experiencing a medical emergency. Few other foods subvert the typical urination experience so successfully

@tomwaits hey Tom what’s your rice purity test score? Probably pretty low based on ur vibe haha. Let me know!

sorry for the niche bowdoin tweet but I just found out who the Roux center is named after lol

What is it about the “Oscars” that turns everybody into such a damn “Grouch?” 😏

she calls me richard the way i’m down to link later

Asked the Bowdoin career development office for help with my oil baron aspirations and they roasted my LinkedIn and then took away my room and board

One of those fake court shows like Judge Judy but the judge is Gordon Ramsey and he’s adjudicating specifically food-related disputes. It’s called “Sue Chef.” Pretty much printing my own money over here