m

Your mcm is telling everyone at the party he's from Dallas when he's actually from Plano

You get treated better at work when you. blow dry your Hair

Thank you SuperTF for participating in the #JaneRemoverDwerkChallenge

whoever fcukers agent is needs a raise cause that music is dogshit and they're out here playing jimmy fallon

Been getting really into having diarrhea lately

When you go to an underground show and everyone looks like dylan klebold

@howtoholdaknife Shave ur big toe we are going to thundercloud subs

@NukeBushwick This reads like a LinkedIn post

As I'm grading final papers, I think I've come to realize this: Yes, there is a huge problem with students being completely unprepared for college. Yes, AI is a huge problem. But, there are still a ton of really bright students with creative ideas who are being overlooked

One more episode of "My Little Pony", pop a Valium. Fly to Finland.

@bubbytomson @howtoholdaknife One vote for MJ ✋

@howtoholdaknife What’s ur take

Mary’s family is debating whether Michael Jackson or Ronaldo is more famous rn

My best friend was in what may be the worst photoshoot ever and we've been clowning him for it so much I'm genuinely afraid he may harm himself Picture attached below:

What’s your phone number let me guess poop poop poop - poop poop poop poop

Not gonna happen pal.

And if you were in school for the football natty and for this - fuck you. God I love you. Fuck you so much. Email me and let’s network

That first bite of Ben and Jerry’s after you put wifey to bed for the night and burnt peanuts on the 65 inch >>>>

Someday i’m gonna be barricade to punxsutawney phil

anyone else in a groupchat still named Houthi PC small group

And I'm Tina! #ImTina

@bubbytomson This jit cracks birds

I put a bird on it