Michael Reilly

@finkdontstink @wageronmajor @tharealperea To be fair, we did kind of invite ourselves to that kid’s birthday party, and ESPN Zone was way better anyways

@wageronmajor @tharealperea Got turned away by a D&B once when I was there for a kid’s bday party (taught him swim lessons), told them we were taking our biz to ESPN Zone. Promptly drove there w/ @blamecusack and set the record in the rowing game

Kids today, will never know 🥹

Spring Training Observations w/ @blamecusack from TD Ballpark #Birdland - O’s might have best hair in the AL - McKenna kinda has a dumptruck - Book another 30 HRs for Tony Taters - Kjerstad is a large man - Jays 3B Coach is a gentleman - Stellas go down smooth in FL sun

@Orioles Checking in from Section 33, Row 3, Seats 1-2!

We're not done yet! Reply to this tweet with a selfie from your seat and be sure to include your section, row, and seat number for a chance to win a prize.

@KeithFlemming @jowrotethis @SeanFennessey @BillSimmons Then, later in the episode, Kerry says to Roman: “We were talking about getting married, and he was making arrangements about us, so could you check? He was gonna… he was gonna make a note. He was gonna write his lawyer or something. Please, can you check?”

@KeithFlemming @jowrotethis @SeanFennessey @BillSimmons So, according to the subtitles, Karl says: “ We're not gonna let the little princess screw things up. Right, Frank? If Gerri's going to block me, I want out. I want my fucking package. I am halfway in on a Greek island with my brother-in-law.”

@SeanFennessey @jowrotethis @BillSimmons did you guys not find it weird that when the execs first see the paper they make a Princess comment. Then they call the kids up to show a diff doc? Did they change it? Was Kerry princess and they swapped it? #Succession

@jowrotethis @KeithFlemming @SeanFennessey @BillSimmons The subtitles say “princess,” which is what I heard. Of course, I just rewatched and it and sort of heard “princes,” so it’s possible it’s just a typo.

@KeithFlemming @SeanFennessey @BillSimmons Princes one “s”.

How did Pete Davidson get his hands on all six Infinity Stones?

American exceptionalism is thinking that King Kong would have any chance of beating Godzilla.

@finkdontstink @MLB Come on man, it’s not like he did something really inexcusable, like hitting a grand slam off a 3-0 pitch with a 7-run lead.

Remember the Justin Turner stuff when @MLB fines a Hispanic player next year for something like funky socks

@TLoinsFanClub @SalVulcano Orange. Name one good cocktail that you can make with apple juice.

Better Juice:

@finkdontstink Over. Anyone who accidentally hangs it under is lazy and anyone who does so intentionally is a psychopath.

Tell me how you hang your toilet paper so my GF will stop doing it wrong 🧻

@wootBre @feministabulous The whole “people tell me it’s important” thing is dumb, but I have seen lots of women with some variation of “Swipe left if you’re shorter than X” in their profile, so that’s where this is coming from.

@finkdontstink Have you seen Succession yet? It took me a few episodes to get into, but it’s easily my favorite show on television (with the possible exception of Saul) Even the theme song is incredible.

Finished Ozark last night. What’s next? Already done BB, Saul, GOT, etc

Just a reminder that when Shakespeare was quarantined because of the plague, he wrote Fast and the Furious, 2 Fast 2 Furious, The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, Fast Five, Fast & Furious 6, Furious 7, The Fate of the Furious, F9, Hobbes and Shaw

@eugewarrock There's so much to unpack there that the article doesn't even bother to address the repeated misspelling of "realese" in that one tweet.

To everyone excited about the return of Dunkaroo’s: Have you considered just buying a box of Teddy Grahams and a can of icing like an adult?

@kschle I pre-ordered a sweatshirt a couple of weeks ago and I felt even better about that decision after seeing Rise Of Skywalker: superyaki.com/products/direc…

Is “I couldn’t sleep because I was up all night thinking about how Jar Jar Abrams ruined Star Wars” a good excuse for missing work?

Yoda at the end of the Revenge of the Sith vs. Yoda in Empire Strikes Back after he’s been living in a swamp on Dagobah for 20 years tells you everything you need to know about the entire state of Florida.

Sure, snow in November is less than ideal, but at least Disney+ is here just in time for me to not want to leave the house for the next 4 months.