please find the revised attached

Overheard some interns freaking about about not being able to find pricing / private company info. Cmon guys just type in n.a. and call it a day

@nerdcircus_ @40AcreGoon Police Dog names

@40AcreGoon just from today: - wilder - rowan - maddox - milo (dog name?) - briggs - arlo - nova individually a lot these are fine, but when it’s rapid fire it’s just like yo everyone chill can we just get a john or something

the baby names where i live are maybe making me a little concerned abt where i live

#NEWS 🚨: Artemis II crew experienced issues with Outlook this morning and had to ask ground crew for assistance "We have two Microsoft Outlooks and neither one is working"

Hello Twitter, this is RVC's mom. He received his exploding offer from Apollo (1mil before salary + carry) this afternoon but unfortunately did not respond in time and it detonated in his apartment. He is in stable condition and should recover soon. Thanks for your kind words.

@Miscountedcf Wow

BREAKING: Thoma Bravo has acquired the twitter account ‘Miscounted Cash Flow’ for an undisclosed consideration.

When the EBITDA #REF!s in the CIM

@michaelbrrrrr @BoringBiz_ Don’t need another bill ackman on this site

@BoringBiz_ No shot anyone read al that

I talk about investment banking hours quite often here, and one of the most common questions I receive from non finance folks is why the hours are actually so bad After all, what do you even do for 80 hours per week? Here is some color for those who are interested > Taking a step back, investment bankers are expensive advisors. They do not actually invest any money, despite what the name would suggest. They are in the business of giving advice to CEOs, CFOs and Board Rooms on transformative transactions > What are transformative transactions? Large M&A deals, IPOs, capital raises, restructurings and bankruptcy would be the most common examples. Whenever you hear about a large billion dollar deal on the financial headlines, there is probably an investment banker involved in some shapr or form > Investment bankers are hired for their expertise primarily. CEOs and CFOs focus on the business operations and internal projections. They are not taking companies public everyday or doing M&A deals on a weekly basis. But investment bankers do exactly that, and they are able to charge a small fee to companies for this advice > Investment bankers are also placement agents for securities. When you want to raise capital as Company XYZ, they have a large rolodex of people they know who might be interested in buying your stock. As a banker, your value comes from experience and relationships. > As a senior investment banker, your job mostly revolves around building relationships with these CEOs, CFOs and investors. That is how you win business. If you can sell yourself and your firm better than others, you get to charge a 3% fee on a mega billion dollar transaction. That is worth another house in the Hamptons and your kids' private school paid for. That is the incentive for working > As a junior investment banker, the story is slightly different. You job has barely anything to do with relationship building. Analysts and associates are expected to be deep in excel and powerpoint, churning out analysis on behalf of your seniors to help them win clients > Once a client has been won, you work together with the CFO and their finance team to put together a financial model that helps inform potential investors. You also put together large PowerPoint decks that tell the story of the company to investors. These are often packed with a lot of jargon and data. The goal is simple: help investors get up to speed on the company as fast as possible, so that they can make their decision to invest quickly, and your bank gets paid faster. The faster the deal closes, the less vulnerable you are to random market swings or change in investor sentiment > In the process of getting investors up to speed, you end up doing additional analysis on behalf of your client. The investor might read through your 90 page deck and the model, and send you a follow-up list with 6 pages of questions on the business. They want to understand the KPIs, historical trends, market share, competitive dynamics and spend by customer. As the junior banker, it is your job to help put these together and help the investor in their diligence process > So why do you end working such long hours? First, it is important to know that when investment bankers say they work 80 hours, they are not actually working the full 80 hours. A lot of time is spent in the office waiting for your senior bankers to review your work > Every deliverable in investment banking goes through a layer of review, where every number and detail is scrutinized internally and by your client before it is released to third parties. This means that you can spend your 9-5 working on a deck, and then be sitting around from 6-8 waiting for your VP to finish reviewing your work. Once the VP's edits are made, you will be waiting for your MD to finish reviewing between 9-11. By the time it reaches the client, it is midnight and you are waiting for them to sign off. The next day you wake up, and repeat the same exact process. > This is the primary reason banking hours end up being so bad. The nature of the work is inherently iterative and goes back and forth. More importantly, the work is unpredictable. You do not have a good sense of when requests will come in. Unpredictability freezes your ability to make plans properly with friends or family. You are always "on call". This leads to burnout much more often than just the sheer number of hours alone. > Client service is the cherry on top. Because your senior bankers are in the business of selling advice and expertise, everything becomes an urgent task that "must be" completed right away. The goal is to make yourself look competent to the client, more than anything else. Even when you receive requests at 10 PM, the junior bankers are expected to sacrifice their sleep and finish the work overnight if required. You want to make the client feel like they are the most important client you have. After all, they are only paying you millions of dollars in fees for this service > Last, but not least, it is the people. Banking tends to attract personalities that are incredibly cut throat and take their work far too seriously. There are numerous VPs or MDs in this line of work who are completely okay with ruining your weekends, date nights and holidays for the sake of producing a +0.1% better work product for the client. At least 99% of the time, this has absolutely zero impact on the actual P&L of the bank or whether your bank gets hired for the deal. However, perfectionism runs hard in banking culture. > For some VPs or MDs, they fundamentally believe that this struggle is the right of passage for analysts. They suffered during their analyst years, so why should the new generation not have to do the same? If you work for a bank or group with good culture, you can hopefully avoid some of these personalities. However, you will still end up working long hours because of the unpredictable and iterative nature of the job. There is simply no escaping it.

@Pigeonomics Skill issue, smash like on cherry blossoms and your TL will be glorious 🌸

@Pigeonomics Retweet

@michaelbrrrrr @willahmed Didn’t need the subscription to tell you you feel like shit because you got 5 hours of sleep and drank 11 beers? 🤣

@willahmed appreciate it if it wasn’t as confusing and complicated as possible to cancel a whoop membership. This is absurd, man

NYC bloom 🔜

Me to every tweet that contains pictures of the cherry blossoms

@the_P_God @OHWallStreet Ay yo

@OHWallStreet @bottombucketaf

Missed opportunity to call this “Bottom Bucket Capital”

@jclarkson203 People are so blinded by Mr brightside they forget all these things that I’ve done and somebody told me

@FrankieFF_ Not for human consumption but that’s not stopping the hyrox influencers

@poiThePoi @AlexNoonan6 You get a free extra carry on for medical equipment

@AlexNoonan6 That would involve stealing my CPAP and at least two laptops, one of which is directly tied to my employment. And most of my meds. I had to get a special CPAP for travel and you would still be stealing it.

Nah the roller bags need to go in the cargo hold where they belong.

Big shout out to the activists at Elliott Management that convinced Southwest Airlines management to stop hedging fuel costs.

@HighyieldHarry @litcapital @spooky_JL What da hell

@litcapital vs @spooky_JL

FinMeme March Madness is kicking off. Vote below for which of your favorite finance meme pages deserve to advance to the sweet 16

Excited for this meme to make a comeback

@CP2Close @nerdcircus_ Hey!!!

no one talks about the dark side of march madness ,, getting added against your will to multiple 30+ ppl groupchats