bradjpet

6.9K posts

bradjpet banner
bradjpet

bradjpet

@bradjpet

writer, editor, designer. recovering adjunct. have acted and screenwritten. shopping a book. have been surfing.

Katılım Kasım 2009
488 Takip Edilen619 Takipçiler
David French
David French@DavidAFrench·
This is a first. We're on a plane sitting at our gate in O'Hare, delayed because we're waiting on ... Toilet water. Yep the "blue juice" for the airplane toilet. Get us our toilet water, @AmericanAir!
English
22
3
198
65.2K
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
@whignewtons Proud to say I read the nyt’s embarrassing coverage of this decision with extra spicy spleen after recently finishing your book
English
0
0
0
70
JT Capperella
JT Capperella@JTCapperella·
Who the hell signed off on this camera angle for Sweden vs Tunisia like are we serious?
English
1
0
6
435
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
@Flat6forever If anything is going to draw the pitchforks back out it could just be this
English
0
0
1
14
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
A splinter always seems huge until you remove it.
English
0
2
2
29
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
First time having skittles gummies. Someone should be jobless.
English
0
2
2
47
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
Attn: guys wondering which art form to take up In years past, I've written poems for my wife This Valentine's Day, I wrote and played her a song Guess which went over a million times better
English
0
1
2
43
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
Well I just added some vodka to a nonalcoholic beer and I think I've pinpointed the issue
English
0
1
0
35
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
TIL trees grown in a dome will fall over from their own weakness. Growing trees require wind to become strong.
English
0
2
1
44
bradjpet retweetledi
Twisted Sitcom
Twisted Sitcom@TwistedSitcom·
Husband: Any resolutions this year, honey? Wife: Yeah. Have more headaches.
English
0
1
1
0
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
“Voicey” fiction just means using “fucking” as an adjective a lot.
English
0
0
1
16
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
Are people who are doing cocaine ever as discreet as we think we are?
English
0
0
0
30
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
Actor: So, am I being pathetically obsequious here or am I manipulating the president via flattery? Director: Yes. A: And it's landing, or does the president kinda hate it? D: Yes. A: And everyone including the audience knows the score. D: Yep. Places, everybody. From one.
Rapid Response 47@RapidResponse47

.@SecRubio: "For the first time in probably 4 decades, the American foreign policy is driven by what is good for America and Americans... and that sort of clarity is transformational."

English
0
0
1
39
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
How much more do you know about New York mayoral elections than your own town's?
English
0
1
1
44
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
How much of what you ascribe to birds is in fact squirrels?
English
1
0
0
72
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
Prune juice: how?
English
0
0
0
51
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
Of course, we love the agents /posterity
English
0
0
0
28
bradjpet
bradjpet@bradjpet·
Literary agent: I like this and this and specifically this and give me this crossed with this and a retelling of this that takes place here in this particular time featuring this exact character and do not send me this, this, or especially this and never this. Also, surprise me!
English
1
0
0
67