Cam Godfrey

i just turned into a car and boy are my arms tires

“average monkey is curious 3 times a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average monkey is curious 0 times per year. Curious Georg, who lives with a man in a yellow hat and is curious over 10,000 times each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

you can’t trust a standup comic. you misdirected me? when i trusted you?

we need a slur for people who cut the “are you racist?” line out of the “in the clurb we all fam” clip

i see so many people talk about “horror movie fans who get scared easily” but where are my fellow “improv comedy enjoyers with severe secondhand embarrassment”

today my mom called baby colin robinson “young sheldon”

@THEBryanSternik are you still there

@cammgodfrey To late, you missed the moment

Some drunk white dude is singing Despacito at the karaoke bar. He’s only singing Despacito & not singing any of the other lyrics cause they’re all in Spanish. Most entertaining karaoke I’ve ever seen

I hate when someone says “nobody asked.” Saying stuff to each other is what separates us from the animals

I swear to god yall better be nice to cam #bb26

not me i’m different. there are people i would have said yes to marrying within 2 months who could not get me to watch a 5 minute youtube video

homie waited for me to tie my shoes while everyone kept walking

how it feels to be a university student who's anti-chatgpt

Drinking beers at the bar and I look around and literally like 12 people are copying me

Mambo Italiano Mambas Italianas Mamba Italiana Mambamos Italianamos Mamban Italianan Mambáis Italianáis (ignore this one, only used in Spain)

Happy 29th birthday, Jenna Maroney.

has anyone considered why everything that is locked up at target is locked from the OUTSIDE ??? maybe it’s not to keep people OUT but to keep old spice swagger deodorant IN

Natl Coming Out Day and Yom Kippur…I’m gay and I’m sorry

just got shushed in the movie theater? fine dude, why don't you show me how to give a hand job *quietly*