Jude of Cornwall

To add a little context to Phoenix and my journey together. The love this beautiful boy gets and the pleasure he's clearly gives so many is precisely why I post updates. There is so much darkness and evil in thr world we all need a hero, even of he is the height of nonsense. I'm not a monetised account and never will be. Be very assured this pup is having the very best 1-2-1 training a pup will ever get. So, whilst I post lighthearted tweets re puppy bites etc. You can rest assured his behaviour and training is coordinated closely at all times. We'll enjoy the boys journey together x #PhoenixChronicals

On the contrary, "Smash the gangs" has resulted in over 4000 arrests, 900 gangs smashed, half the boats attempting to launch being stopped, thousands of rubber boats & motors seized, importers closed down & 38,000 people with no right to be here deported *in 1 year* under Labour.

"My most vivid memories of my school life is Farage repeatedly coming up to me, knowing that I was Jewish, saying 'Hitler was right' and 'gas em' and that was frequently followed by imitating the sound of escaping gas." Peter Ettedgui, ex classmate of @Nigel_Farage. #newsnight

Great news crypto donations to our political parties are now illegal. Now let's ban elected politicians from hosting or presenting in the media. It's the right thing to do

How could anyone eat “leg of lamb” knowing that this is the face behind it? This is Huckleberry. Huck was listed online for $150 but not as a companion. Just as something that would likely end up on someone’s plate last Easter. Or best case scenario he would have been used to make babies to be eaten until he grew old and was discarded. That’s the reality for so many lambs this time of year. Easter is filled with images of cute baby animals, but for many of them, it ends in suffering. Huck almost became one of those stories. Instead, he ended with us. And it was fortunate he did. Not long after he came to us, Huck developed a bladder stone that blocked him from being able to pee. It’s a life-threatening condition. He was in severe pain and his body was shutting down fast. We rushed him into emergency care. He needed surgery to survive. He spent a full week in the hospital, and there were moments where we didn’t know if he was going to make it. But he did. And now he follows us around. He leans into us. He trusts us completely. He acts just like a dog in so many ways, wanting comfort, connection, and safety. And most of all love. This is what we do at Life With Pigs. We take what could have been a tragic ending and give it a chance to become the ‘someone’ they always were meant to be. But we can’t do it alone. The only reason Huck is here today is because people chose to care. People chose to support us and see him as someone worth saving. And that support is what turns stories like his from what could have been a horror into a happily ever after. Thank you for being a part of Huckleberry’s story! Support Our Sanctuary at give-usa.keela.co/x-donations

Martin's ancestors have been watching for some time. They would like it noted, for the record, that they are not happy. 7:00am - Martin has a low-fat yoghurt. The fat has been removed and replaced with modified maize starch, pectin, and acesulfame potassium. His great-great-grandmother, who churned butter for a living in a farmhouse in Tipperary, makes a noise that has no translation in modern English. 7:30am - Martin has a bowl of bran flakes with skimmed milk. His ancestor from the Bronze Age, who ate organs, bone marrow, and rendered fat from large ruminants, sits down heavily and puts his face in his hands. 9:00am - Martin's mid-morning snack is a rice cake. It has 28 calories. His Viking ancestor, who was built like a wardrobe and ate herring, mutton tallow, and fermented dairy, stares at the rice cake with an expression of profound anthropological grief. 12:00pm - Lunch is a chicken salad with fat-free dressing. Martin has removed the skin from the chicken. He has removed the only part of the chicken that contains any meaningful fat-soluble nutrition. His grandmother, who grew up eating dripping on toast and died at 91 with no metabolic disease, watches in silence. 3:00pm - Martin has a 97-calorie cereal bar. His Palaeolithic ancestor does not know what a cereal bar is. He does not need to. He can see what it is doing to Martin's waistline compared to what it is doing to his mood. He files this information. 6:00pm - Dinner: lean mince (5% fat), brown pasta, and a tomato sauce from a jar. Martin has tracked all of this in My Fitness Pal. He is 14 calories under his goal. He is also, by any sensible hormonal reading, still hungry. 8:00pm - Martin has a low-fat ice cream. His ancestors, collectively, watch him eat a product that is technically both a food and an industrial experiment, and they decide, as a group, to stop watching for the evening. 9:30pm - Martin cannot sleep. He is thinking about food. He has been thinking about food since approximately 11am. His ancestors are not thinking about food. They are thinking about other things. Martin's ancestors were, on the whole, significantly leaner. This is the part Martin finds hardest to explain.

Huge News! For those of you in the UK and Ireland, we have some amazing news! Bloody thrilled to announce that my stand up show, Late Bloomer will be shown on Channel 4, on Sunday 5th April at 9pm. If you celebrate Easter Sunday, get your chocolate ready. Watch it live and then it’ll be available to stream at Channel4.com @Channel4 Photo by Matt Crockett

A few have asked for a bit of Toad content….

Grasshopper Warbler 💛 A little bit of zingy spring greenery to hopefully brighten your day 🌱 This original drawing will soon be available to purchase - I hope you like it!

@wildanimalpis Oh my. I'm weeping at this.

If you were designing a country from scratch specifically to produce ruminants, you would design Britain. You would start with the rain. Specifically, you would arrange for it to fall constantly, reliably, and with a commitment that suggests the sky has a personal stake in the outcome. Not the dramatic rainfall of somewhere interesting, not monsoons or thunderstorms, just a grey, purposeful, relentless dampness that keeps the grass alive in February when nothing else wants to be. Then you'd do the soil. You'd make most of it thin, acidic, rock-full, and nitrogen-poor: genuinely terrible for crops, genuinely perfect for grass, which evolved to grow in exactly this kind of neglected substrate. You'd arrange for this poor soil to sit underneath the rain for ten months of the year and produce a sward so dense and permanent that it becomes, effectively, a biological solar panel. Converting rainfall and thin soil into nutrition via a process so efficient it looks like magic when you trace it. Then you'd add hills. Not useful hills. Not mining hills or strategic hills. Just relentlessly inconvenient hills: too steep for tractors, too wet for wheat, too windy for anything requiring human patience. Perfect, in other words, for an animal that turns its back to the weather and grazes. Then you'd add the cow. The cow would be built for the rain. Deep-bodied, thick-skinned, four stomachs, rumen full of organisms that eat the grass that uses the rain that falls on the soil that goes nowhere useful. Britain is not a country that happens to have cows. Britain is a country that the cows ordered. The rest of us are tenants.

The U.S. Ambassador to France has been banned from contacting any government official in France because he broke a law prohibiting any foreign diplomats from influencing or interfering with French elections. He did this twice. His last name is Kushner. His son's name is Jared.

Just a little reminder that my shop is open! I’d absolutely love to send you some lovely things. Times are really tough for a lot of people right now, especially small businesses, so every order really is hugely appreciated! 💛 annahamiltonart.com/products

@annahamiltonart How absolutely delightful.

There are only 18 ‘Bumble’ prints left before it’s gone forever! I remember drawing this fellow so vividly, it always reminds me of warm summer days. If you’d like to grab a print while they’re still available, you can find them here 💛 annahamiltonart.com/product/bumble…

Absolute humiliation in the Commons. Keir Starmer brilliantly traps Kemi Badenoch by quoting a "senior figure" who supported his exact energy policy, only to reveal it was her own words from 2022. A masterclass in political dismantling.

If you’re thinking of getting a rabbit this Easter, please remember that rabbits are a 8 year old+ commitment. They need space to roam and can’t just be kept in a hutch. A bunny is for life and not just Easter 🐰💗

Please help! I just left my favourite yellow cap on the train!! At Leamington Spa (going toward Manchester Piccadilly, most likely tucked into the tray table)! 😭 @CrossCountryUK Wah!! 😭😭😭🙏💛

Amazing just how far little Dolly Parton has come in 5 weeks since we found her roaming the streets all on her own