Beth Heise

@lolacoaster Ngl this is tying two patterns together in such a way it's giving me ideas for wallpapering my living room

My hospital gown. Is this the greatest print or the worst print

Wow colonoscopy prep really sucks shit!!!!

Remember kids: corporations are free to charge whatever the market will bear but if workers do that they're selfish and are causing inflation.

@Milo_Edwards Yeah ask California how that's going 😬

surely this would just be an incentive to never move - tories really speed running destroying their own base here

this will work very well in an economy which is predicated on your shit pebble dash semi being worth £500k for some reason

On Halloween, as a mom of teens, I beg of you… let them be young just a little longer. If someone trick or treats at your house & they look too old… just give them candy anyways. It’s not hurting anything. Their bodies may look big & grown but they were babies not long ago.

@kvanaren Ngl this looks amazing and I want to eat it with my mouth

congrats to the state of nj

@collectdust Idk what kind of potato wizardry they are privy to but their stuff really is a cut above. The Yukon select fries cannot be beat.

i regret to inform you that the alexia tots really are better than the oreida

@seldo Our house came with Tesla solar panels and yes

I don't know how many of you have used the software on a Tesla but the idea that those folks have anything to teach the people at Twitter is laughable.

@RottenInDenmark I used to have a shirt I bought at Pike Place that said "Seattle Rain Festival, Jan 1-Dec 31," it was very good

@MOliciousHat @rahaeli Our last place was in a complex where there were different streets that had the same house numbers but the streets weren't clearly marked. Our stuff got misdelivered constantly. I feel your pain.

Mundane Halloween is back! Japan does Halloween better than anyone, but best of all is the annual "mundane Halloween" contest sponsored by website @dailyportalz. The point is to dress up as something super ordinary. Here are some of my favorites from this year...

@VeryBadLlama If it weren't for sprinkler timers there would not be one living plant in my yard

RIP aloe vera plant, you were supposed to be hard to kill but you were no match for my ADHD

@VeryBadLlama @j_n_foster Lmao right?

the nice thing about my ADHD is that if my apartment is haunted I will literally never notice it “silly me, always leaving these cupboards and drawers open and the sink running at full blast,” I say, as a frustrated ghost screams into a pillow in the corner

@collectdust Lol

i'm a non binary bisexual - obviously i can't sort things

@rahaeli May I add:

@notliamanders0n NL>>>>AL all day 📣🍻

Phils in 4. Fuck Houston.

@timunken Oh no.

I'm going to a halloween party that is "basic bitch" themed and I asked my gf what a basic bitch man wears and she proceeded to describe how I have dressed every day of my entire adult life

@NeolithicSheep I see phase I is going well

@AngelaLovesNY Yeah. Lol what a language

@AngelaLovesNY Please know if you don't already that they pronounce Arkansas as Ar-kansas. Like a pirate dithering then saying Kansas. Lmk if you decide to branch out to nat'l parks bc Yosemite is *bonkers*