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The Nigel Farage Guide to Being a Working-Class Hero
Step 1: Be born to a City stockbroker.
Step 2: Attend Dulwich College, fees currently £53,000 a year.
Step 3: Skip university. Become a City commodities trader instead.
Step 4: Run one of your metal broking firms into insolvency.
Step 5: Get elected to the European Parliament. Spend the next 21 years drawing a salary from the institution you're paid to dismantle.
Step 6: Claim £15,500 a year in expenses for an office your party was given rent-free.
Step 7: Put your wife on the EU parliamentary payroll. Take her off only when the rules force you to.
Step 8: Get investigated by the EU's anti-fraud office. Eventually have half your MEP salary docked to repay misused public funds.
Step 9: Throw a Brexit victory party at the Ritz. Decry the "professional political class" to a room of millionaires.
Step 10: Take £450,000 in personal gifts from Arron Banks. House. Car. Lifestyle.
Step 11: Take £5 million, undisclosed, from a Bangkok-based crypto billionaire. Days later, announce you're standing for parliament after all.
Step 12: Win Clacton. Take the £93,904 MP salary. Add £1.2 million a year from GB News at £2,300 an hour. Become the highest-earning MP in the House of Commons.
Step 13: Speak in parliament fewer times than any other party leader. Fly to America at least nine times in your first year. Refuse to hold in-person constituency surgeries. Holiday in France while parliament is sitting.
Step 14: Tell the working class you're one of them. Tell them to vote against their own interests, over and over again.
Pint, mate?
Pippa Crerar@PippaCrerar
EXCL: Nigel Farage was given an undisclosed £5m by crypto billionaire Christopher Harborne shortly before announcing he would stand in general election @Annaisaac reveals theguardian.com/politics/2026/…
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