Dollar Store Koe Wetzel

@Daddy_Lopez55 You've clearly never been to the University of Alabama

Unpopular opinion: There should only be graduations for completion of high school, undergrad, and graduate schools. That's it.

It’s funny hearing boomers claim nobody ate out and everyone brown bagged lunches, when the largest fast food expansion in American history happened during their generation. Those chains didn’t build 20,000 locations because nobody was buying burgers.

Probably because a single alcoholic beverage in any bar or restaurant costs more than they make in an hour of work

But you do…

Can someone please fix bacon packaging. There has to be a better way.

NAILED IT: Jeff Bezos: “A nurse in Queens who makes $75K a year pays more than $12K a year in taxes. Does that really make sense?” “So people talk about making the tax system more progressive. How about we start by having the nurse in Queens NOT pay taxes? At all!” “Why is a nurse in Queens who makes $75K a year paying more than $1K a month in taxes?” “That’s $1K a month that could help with rent or groceries or anything.” “And by the way, do you know what that all adds up to? The bottom half of income earners in this country pay only 3% of the taxes. It’s only 3%.” “We can find 3%. So we don’t have... it’s a small amount of money for the government. You know that. And the more I thought about it, to me, it’s kind of absurd that we’re doing this.” “We shouldn’t be asking this nurse in Queens to send money to Washington — they should be sending her an apology. It really makes no sense.” Exactly!

Bob and Bill are out playing their weekly golf game. Bob steps to the tee, takes a big swing, and the ball sails way right of the fairway, likely out of bounds. Next, Bill tees up his ball, takes a huge rip, and pull-hooks his ball crazy far left and way off the fairway. As Bill makes his way over to his ball, he notices that it has landed in a beautiful field of buttercups. The flowers are nice and all, but Bob is very competitive and doesn't want to take the penalty stroke, and decides to play the ball where it lies and likely ruin the flowers. As he's at the peak of his backswing, Mother Nature herself appears and yells, "Stop right there! I've spent decades creating this beautiful buttercup patch, and I'm not going to have it destroyed by a crazed golfer. If you so much as harm one buttercup, I’ll make sure you have to eat sticks of butter in every meal for the rest of your life!" Bob replies, "Wow, sorry Mother Nature, I certainly didn’t mean to upset you. I will take the penalty and drop the ball far away from the flowers." As he picks up his ball and starts walking toward the fairway, he looks over his shoulder and says, “Not for nothing, Mother Nature, but where were you last week when I shanked a ball into the pussy willows?”

Jeff Bezos: "You could double the taxes I pay and it's not going to help that teacher in Queens, I promise you."

there’s no sidewalks outside of spongebob’s house let alone public transit. why do u think he wanted his drivers license so bad

Congress gets free healthcare for life, a pension when they retire, and $79 A DAY for lunch... that’s all BEFORE their $175,000 a year salary. The system is a joke and tax payers are the punchline.

The US justice system deciding when to finally throw Rashee Rice in jail

The Los Angeles race for mayor is literally an IQ test.

He did the quote

Rest in peace to my friend since 9th grade, Will Elliott. Will was the funniest person I’ve ever met. His wit ran circles around me. Please join me in his prayer for his mom, dad, brother, long time girlfriend, & most of all his 3 year old son. Tell your friends you love them

"For 70 years, a bachelor's degree was the most reliable on-ramp to a stable career. That's no longer true," per Axios

I think the funniest thing about the Savannah Bananas is that they just lose a fuck ton

Absolutely devastated to hear about the passing of Will Elliott. We became friends years ago through this app & got the pleasure of becoming friends in real life. My thoughts and prayers go out to all of his loved ones. Rest in peace, Brother. Roll Tide.

Since Jim Harbaugh arrived, Michigan has had 14 staffers either arrested (6), banned for cheating (5), fired for sex crimes (2), or forced to resign for endorsing slavery (1).

😭

When Alabama got revenge on Johnny Manziel & Texas A&M #RollTide