CD 🦚🇺🇸

@CastellKim Plaid

Blue kind of day. I love any shade of blue! Do you have a favorite color..?

We’re cooking with grease now

@MikeBales That’s funny

A young Chinese couple gets married. She’s a virgin. Truth be told, he is virgin too, but she doesn’t know that. On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets as her husband undresses in the darkness. He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring. ’My darring, he whispers, ‘I know dis you firss time and you berry flighten.’ I promise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting juss anyting you want. You juss ask. Whatchu want?’ he says, trying to sound experienced and worldly, which he hopes will impress her. A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually shyly whispers back, ‘I want to try something I have hear about from odda girls… Numbaa 69.’ More thoughtful silence from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he asks her …’You want … Garlic Chicken wif flide lice..?

@coleman_peanut It gets worse

@cldavis1716 No couldn’t keep everything in line to get a bolt started

When you don’t have enough hands a zip tie works pretty well.

@coleman_peanut Morning

Be the person that you can be proud of not the one the world wants you to be.

@parkercatt81198 Give em hell Harry

I had a direct line of fire plus im hard to miss

@GretchenPSmith @scooterscoffee Check into 7 Brew

Good Morning. I am thinking about opening up a @scooterscoffee in Murfreesboro TN with my son. Who would come have a cup of coffee with me 🇺🇸☕️

@coleman_peanut @BilledShee77671 Always tell mine to count off but they haven’t quite got it figured out

The gangs all here.

@AUPPL Keep talking big man, few more years you’ll be told “that’s not how they do it on HGTV “ if you’re only changing a light bulb

Apparently something called a Chip Gaines is in attendance tonight I've also been told shiplap is not when a boat goes in a circle #AUDeck

@ClaireHair763 Prayers

I just got a call from my big brother, my dad had a stroke and isn’t going to make it. Please pray for my family. We are not close at all and this is going to be difficult.

@dalle_rutledge We’re up to 10% a week from Saturday but it’s going to be in the high 80’s until

I’ve been watching a huge rain chance for next Tuesday closely, it was starting to feel real. When I went to bed last night there was a 75% chance of more than an inch. This morning it’s just gone. It’s 0% of anything again for the foreseeable future. 💔

@parkercatt81198 Tear up more than a teenage boy

People wonder why we don't have nice things

@P202641716 DP traps with marshmallows

Iv had my chickens in their coop for 3 nights And the last 2 NIGHTS iv caught raccoons trying to get in. Already! What do you chicken keepers do to keep those assholes away

@MTheePony Prayers for your family

So many strangers prayed for Trisha. She gave birth to a beautiful blonde haired boy 7 weeks early. 4 weeks later, the Lord took her home. Like a true Longhorn, her celebration of life was a crawfish boil with lots of Tito’s. Thank you all for trying for our girl.

@coleman_peanut Good feeling, down to three

The one we’ve been waiting for. Born mid day yesterday.

@LenahanJoh84560 @rocknrollofall Still got the shovel

@rocknrollofall I love The Band and still listen to this day. Some of my favorites are: Lonesome Suzy Long Black Veil King Harvest Chest Fever etc etc Did you happen to catch Levon in the movie Shooter?

"Possibly the most moving song about the tragedy of the American Civil War, sung by a son of the South but written by a Jewish/Native American from Canada with a rare gift indeed." The Band performing 'The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down' live at Winterland Ballroom, San Francisco, The Last Waltz.

@justtjb @WaltzingMtilda Prayers

So I have an arrival time for tomorrow, 5:30. I'm having spine surgery. Any stray prayers or good vibes appreciated.

@Mao_Tse_Gundo Get Miller ponies, you’ll have more to throw

I’m on I-45 between Wortham and Corsicana riding shotgun in my kid’s truck while he drives…..teaching him the nuanced art of flinging an empty Coors Light bottle out the window at 75 mph hitting an exit sign….