cool_rick

Wait, so you remembered something I said longer than 10 minutes ago? We MUST be in love

And now we are both glad we don't know each other anymore

@leahtriss This hits... Right in the self truth.... Ow.

Getting engaged in your 20’s is a mental illness

Another year, another negative influence lost. Good riddance.

can you get married but still live in separate houses? like love is great and all but never getting to be alone again is... probably not worth having a spouse imo

.@RepSwalwell’s questioning was phenomenal. He was one of the first Members of Congress to recognize the Russian threat and take it seriously. He is a true patriot. I’m glad he’s on our side. That side being America.

Stop maintaining this lie

Going to the gym - tiring - expensive - time consuming Sitting on the couch - effortless - free - you’ll die sooner

Worse than being broken up with was being spoken to with the customer service voice afterwards. Gotta be fuckin to be talked to with sincerity.

I reached sexual maturity at the age of 13. Emotional maturity would arrive only a short 20 years later.

Just informed Google that I am not interested in stories about chicken thighs. That's an interesting data point that someone is going to purchase.

Hurt my back wiping my ass and isn't this the life I always dreamed of

@billyeichner Now that you mention it, I buy myself this reward pretty regularly

How sad is it that I just got some good news and my gift to myself was...a cheeseburger and fries. I am 11 years old.

Not anyone's priority

@natebargatze @spokanecc

Quick question: Where should I play that's not currently on the tour?

gee i wonder

Tom DeLonge has a WHAT?!