Corey Lista retweetledi
Took the dog to the vet yesterday
Golden retriever
She ate something in the backyard
My wife said "she looks off"
I said "she's a dog. She always looks like that."
My wife made the appointment anyway
Nice office
Fish tank in the lobby
Every professional I visit has a fish tank
The vet came in
Looked at the dog for maybe 30 seconds
Pressed on her stomach
The dog wagged her tail
He said "we should run some tests"
I said "what kind of tests"
He said "bloodwork, X-ray, urinalysis, and an ultrasound"
I said "she ate a stick"
He said "we want to be thorough"
I said "what's the cost"
He said "roughly $3,400"
For a stick
My wife looked at me
Not the ceiling this time
Directly at me
The look that means "if you negotiate the vet bill for our dog I will never speak to you again"
I said "run the tests"
Fastest approval I've ever given
No diligence
No second opinion
No counter
The dog looked at me
Tail still wagging
She has no idea what anything costs
Must be nice
They took her to the back
We sat in the waiting room for two hours
My wife was worried
I was calculating the per-minute cost of this visit
I didn't say that out loud
Therapy taught me that much
The vet came back
Looked at his chart for 90 seconds
He said "good news. Nothing serious. She probably just ate something that didn't agree with her."
I said "so she's fine"
He said "she's fine"
I said "we waited two hours and spent $3,400 to confirm what you suspected when you pressed on her stomach for 30 seconds"
He said "we wanted to rule things out"
I said "what did you rule out"
He said "quite a bit"
I said "name one thing"
He paused
My wife said "we're paying the bill"
I said "I know we're paying the bill"
The vet recommended a "premium digestive supplement"
$89 a month
I said no
My wife said yes
The vet looked at me
I looked at the dog
The dog was asleep on the floor
$3,400 and two hours later and she's the most relaxed one in the room
We paid
In the car my wife said "you were going to negotiate weren't you"
I said "the thought crossed my mind"
She said "it's our dog"
I said "I know. That's why I didn't."
She looked at me
I looked at the road
The dog was in the backseat
Head out the window
Not a single thought behind those eyes
I've never been more jealous of another living thing
$3,400
$89/month supplement
One stick
Non-negotiable
Sent from my iPhone
English
