cw

ugly crying watching the astronauts land in the ocean lmao

she absolutely hated this song and it’s a certified summer banger.

Donald Glover did an honest Yoshi impression for 90 minutes meanwhile Chris Pratt can’t even muster up the courage to say “let’s-a-go!” because he’s afraid people will remember he was fat and jolly on Parks and Recreation for 7 years

@HousewivesHub Omg the last thing she needs is to get involved with Sean Penn.

Nobody: Kristi Noem’s husband:

Metaphor: Don't go to a sushi bar and expect lasagna, they don't serve it there. Try the nice trattoria down the street

“Like anything, red-carpet reporting is a craft. It ought to be practiced by people who know what they’re doing.” Influencer cultural death please be incoming.

After much reflection, I have decided to resign from my position as Director of the National Counterterrorism Center, effective today. I cannot in good conscience support the ongoing war in Iran. Iran posed no imminent threat to our nation, and it is clear that we started this war due to pressure from Israel and its powerful American lobby. It has been an honor serving under @POTUS and @DNIGabbard and leading the professionals at NCTC. May God bless America.

this is how i go to work.

Im actually crying wdym the Israeli data centers got hit and now a ton of bots dont exist anymore. Wdym i can say shit like my meta bitcoin got hacked on a t shirt and not have a shit ton bots in my replys

The kids don’t know… these 2 albums + FutureSexLoveSounds changed the sound of pop radio.

🗣️ Let's get this place HUMID!

My island in Pokopia is such a dump that this is all i hear every time i log in

Bombing Iran to distract from the Donna Kelce home renovation

the dj going from rihanna’s only girl to britney’s hold it against me to katy’s e.t. to kesha’s blow…….. we didn’t know how good we had it.

Today’s to do list: -Think about past failures -Spend $15-200 -Reflect on recent trauma -Become so over caffeinated I get scared -Abuse a substance

when i see a woman in an orthopedic boot i see a life lived

I’m 62 years old, I live in Tampa, I eat corn and beef everyday, I always have a titleist hat on, and Iran is the biggest threat to my freedom