The Covert Comic

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The Covert Comic

The Covert Comic

@covertcomic

The Covert Comic isn't like you. The Covert Comic is love you.

Extremely near Washington DC Katılım Kasım 2009
2.4K Takip Edilen1.2K Takipçiler
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The Covert Comic
The Covert Comic@covertcomic·
*ALL* dating is carbon dating. - Life's Little Covert Operations Manual Currently #2 on Amazon's free Political Humor List (at least until this post drops). Download FREE now! amazon.com/Lifes-Little-C…
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Anna Krivolapova
Anna Krivolapova@AnaKrivolapova·
This language model ain't large enough for the two of us
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Natalie Would
Natalie Would@_NatalieWould·
*brings an "Is that what you're wearing?" to a gunfight*
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Damon Hunzeker
Damon Hunzeker@DamonHunzeker·
Yo-yo dieting is hard on your health but even worse on your yo-yo.
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The Covert Comic
The Covert Comic@covertcomic·
The morale will continue until beatings improve.
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The Covert Comic
The Covert Comic@covertcomic·
Though Michelangelo defined it as the essence of beauty, you probably want to be careful about calling a woman “the purgation of superfluities” on a first date.
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The Covert Comic
The Covert Comic@covertcomic·
One aspect of canonization I’m not clear on: do they fire the canon at the saints, or put the saints inside the canon and launch them?
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The Covert Comic
The Covert Comic@covertcomic·
In my opinion, there should be an FBI warning against unauthorized reproduction in general.
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SentientBunnySuit🐰
SentientBunnySuit🐰@SuitSentient·
Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. All of your friends are better ninjas than you.
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Ginger Jones
Ginger Jones@plaything______·
everything you see on your phone is ugly because it’s on your phone
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MusicQqquotes
MusicQqquotes@MQqquotes·
I told a coworker that I knew he was a C-Section baby by how he avoids labor. I'm on my way to HR now.
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Robert Bonnett
Robert Bonnett@RoBonnett79·
I thought I was pretty smart, but I also thought a villanelle was an evil Frenchwoman.
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The Covert Comic
The Covert Comic@covertcomic·
I’m not afraid of being doxed. Just because strangers learn the details of my private life doesn’t mean I have to.
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The Covert Comic
The Covert Comic@covertcomic·
Whoever said hindsight is 20/20 was 20/400.
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Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ
Bö Jänke: Hönkÿ@Bob_Janke·
You know all those scientists that disappeared? That was me
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The Covert Comic
The Covert Comic@covertcomic·
It's not casual sex if you're really focused on doing it well. – Life's Little Covert Operations Manual Back (AGAIN) at #1 on Amazon's free Political Humor list. amazon.com/gp/bestsellers…
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The Covert Comic
The Covert Comic@covertcomic·
In New Jersey, you could do worse than end up in a watery grave. You could end up in a cementy grave, or a landfilly grave, or a football stadiumy grave.
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The Covert Comic
The Covert Comic@covertcomic·
Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Walk all over me; I like it.
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Blather Wince Repeat
Blather Wince Repeat@xerxesbigboy·
I accepted substitutes. Can’t say they didn’t warn me.
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