craig jines

@SheaSerrano I’m curious when you come upon a great find like this, do you bring it home and watch it or just stack it on the shelf never even checking to make sure it works

they said i’d never find it they said it couldn’t be done

@gracecamille_ Please tell me at one point he looked at you said “what the fuck are you talking about?”

my darling boyfriend let me (wine drunk) rant about the romanticism sandwiched between Blood Meridian and NCFOM for 15 minutes straight before he said “wow. I thought she only acted.” And i discovered he thought i was talking about Melissa McCarthy

@pierbiwierbi If your business card is bone colored…I swear to god

GOT AN 8:30 RES AT DORSIA

up in da trees :)

@JoshuaHedley I got a bachelors in sport communications (i.e. broadcasting) my best job since then was a school custodian which I lost due to my alcoholism…I’d have rather had poetry because at least I’d be able to understand that shit now. It doesn’t take a degree to understand sports

Honestly if I had gone to college I would’ve ended up doing something stupid like getting a doctorate in poetry or some shit.

@RollingStone You’d think he made enough money off of Chattahoochie to represent ppl pro bono.

Nick Reiner’s former lawyer finally revealed what happened when he stepped down. Alan Jackson says “anticipated” funding from Nick’s siblings did not materialize, so “continued private representation by my firm was no longer feasible." More ↓ rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-m…

Nick Reiner’s newly proposed trustee previously acted as a court-appointed conservator for Britney Spears during the pop star’s conservatorship. She allegedly asked to meet with Nick in custody, but his public defender blocked the move. Read: rollingstone.com/tv-movies/tv-m…

@PaulPabst Audible is a ripoff. Support the local library by using Hoopla and Libby. Apps that have audiobooks from the library

@gldivittorio Not to mention that it’s only a wink and a nod that Israel doesn’t have nukes.

So the US attacking Iran on behalf of Israel due to the uncorroborated possibility they have nuclear weapons is fair game but Iran attacking Israel on behalf of Lebanon due to Israel fully invading Lebanon, shooting babies, and engulfing entire towns with white phosphorus isn't?

@gracecamille_ What are the slags up to now??

wait omg i figured it out…. my grandma w dementia hadn’t spoken for years but in the last 3 weeks of her life suddenly remembered DEEP CUT slurs, like convoluted ones that have faded from human memory entirely. this is the exact look she would give right before letting them rip

@LiterateIndy Hey I live in Seymour. How bout that

The Milhous Family at leisure in Seymour, Indiana, c1900. (Indiana Historical Society)

@ProFootballTalk Well delete it bub. Don’t dimune IU that way

Texas Tech, I meant.

Texas QB Brendan Sorsby made at least 40 Indiana-related bets while on the Indiana roster. nbcsports.com/nfl/profootbal…

@minakimes @ScrippsBee How did he know the difference between Nichol and Nickel? I can’t figure that one out

Shrey knew those words because he’s spent countless hours studying them—not just how to spell them, but what they mean, and how they’re put together. The @ScrippsBee is a testament to not only the power of hard work, but also a reminder of what the HUMAN brain is capable of. I’m so inspired by these kids.

@aubviouslynot I can’t figure out how to watch 28 weeks later w/o straight up renting it. It’s listed on Hulu but won’t let me watch it for some reason.

I think I have enough to keep me going this weekend :D if I didn’t add your suggestion, it’s because I’ve either seen it or it just didn’t send the chill I was looking for that runs directly along my spine up to my face (iykyk)

I found my hero

@jzux It’s because you’re fruity

do fruit flies gravitate toward me because they sense i am sweet or because they sense i am rotten

@angel_0f_deathx Maybe he meant that he’s tempted to steal your identity, or maybe abet you in a serious crime. Theres more than one way to go to jail

“Jailbait” and I’m gonna be 32 next month. My power grows daily.

@awfulannouncing Suu suu sudiooo. Love that song

ESPN reportedly expanding Men’s College World Series sudio coverage awfulannouncing.com/espn/college-w…

@wingoz “Flushed it” said mockingly after I topped my driver

Damn that sucked

@simple_as_grass @dangochan420 Google Twain’s “Angelfish club” .. that dude would have been on the dark web logging ridiculous amounts of CP

@dangochan420 Twain isn't much of a gooner to me tbh. I think he's maybe a bit sexually pent-up but he doesn't strike me as the type!!! anyway great minds think alike... i think i got my inspiration for this specific tweet from the WKUK Whitman sketch but this is funny too

Where would the great writers of the past be if they lived today? James Joyce: ADDICTED TO INTERNET PORN Fyodor Dostoevsky: ADDICTED TO INTERNET PORN Charles Bukowski: ADDICTED TO INTERNET PORN Whitman: chillin in da woods :D Ernest Hemingway: ADDICTED TO INTERNET PORN

@LastWeekTonight I hate you right now. That fucking song. Why did you do that to me

@awfulannouncing Shots fired @PabloTorre

Dan Le Batard declares sports journalism ‘dead’ awfulannouncing.com/meadowlark/dan…