Jack Tack

@mugjudge That’s crazy and also not what happens 99.9% of the time

I knew a guy who has abusive parents and, upon converting to Christianity, he thought he needed to reach out to them. They just constantly called and texted him to tell him to kill himself, and I stopped by his dorm room almost every night for weeks to make sure he didn't.

@Seeing_Redlines The master stroke of this fake clickbait is the guy still getting fired at the end. Well done

The head of HR scheduled a mysterious 15 minute sync with me to get what she described as a "quick blessing" on a standard termination package. I should've known immediately that absolutely nothing about this request was going to be standard or quick. She wanted to fire a mid-level account executive for cause, which'd effectively deny him his severance package and all of his unvested equity. I asked her to provide the documentation proving his persistent failure to meet performance quotas or any records of his formal disciplinary warnings. She informed me that the termination wasn't about quotas at all, it was actually about repeated time theft. I asked her how a salaried, legally exempt employee working entirely remotely could possibly commit time theft under our current employment policies. She shared her screen to show me a highly detailed dashboard from a third-party employee monitoring software platform I'd never seen before in my life. I asked her what exactly I was looking at and how she obtained this level of granular telemetry data on our staff. She explained that she quietly used her administrative privileges to install a background keylogger and webcam monitoring tool on all company-issued laptops last month. I felt the blood drain entirely from my face as I stared at the dashboard. She pointed to a graph showing the employee was physically away from his desk for roughly 2 hours every single afternoon. I asked her if she'd informed the employees or obtained written consent that their private keystrokes and home webcams were being actively monitored by the HR department. She said no, because telling them would completely defeat the purpose of catching them intentionally slacking off during business hours. I had to explain that secretly recording employees inside their own homes without their explicit consent is a massive, inexcusable violation of federal and state wiretapping laws. I pointed out that we currently have 45 employees living in California, which is famously a two-party consent state with incredibly aggressive privacy regulations. She asked if we could just fire him anyway and pretend we found out he was slacking off through other legal means. I explained that constructing a parallel narrative to cover up illegal corporate surveillance is called fraud and usually leads to depositions. She seemed genuinely hurt that I wasn't highly impressed by her proactive, data-driven approach to workforce optimization. I mandated that she uninstall the spyware immediately across the entire organization and delete all the collected data. I now have to draft a highly sensitive disclosure notice to the entire company admitting that the HR department has been illegally spying on them for a month. The account executive is getting his full severance package, his equity, and probably an apology fruit basket. I'm actively questioning every single life choice that led me to this chair.

@AutisticClip My cradle Catholic friend had the same complaint when dating in college. He just wanted to date women who had any hobby other than watching Netflix. He found a great wife who is SAHM to their multiple children

“It seems like so much of relationships is just watching TV together.”

@JDGrandstaff @JAlfredJuicebox Everywhere you look people will say that everything wrong is the world is either because of Jews or because of cars

@JAlfredJuicebox This is what car dependency in an increasingly densely-populated country does to women. Imagine if she lived in an area where she and her kids rarely needed the "foidmobile" because they could safely and efficiently commute by bike, scooter, bus, and train 90% of the time.

Tradwives have changed

@playbymail @Clint_Davey1 How would you know if the gameplay is or isn’t good without playing it??

@Clint_Davey1 If the game isn't very good, then why did you start playing it?

Why did I stop playing 40K? Here's why: -It's expensive and time-consuming to buy and paint models. -It requires a lot of space. -The game itself is not very good.

@BeyondFables @TUWAN_N Why make it annoying when it could just be a difficulty setting in an option page for both parties

@TUWAN_N Someone tell people with this complaint that they should either be good enough to beat a boss without several attempts or suck it up and reset (takes <1min) if they want to be elitist about difficulty

someone tell toby fox that if you die on the boss its already easier on the next attempts because you have more experience with the fight

@stanleefounder Have you seen anything outside of sf by chance

friend actually thought i'd move out of sf

The liberal group chat dropped this talking point today. Seeing it everywhere

@punkeybrewstir Can anyone explain why cataloguing books is so difficult?

not shitting on op bc they said the job listing only specified hs, but it is funny to me how many ppl (NOT OP) don't realize that librarian is not a job for retired old ladies and is actually a distinguished profession of it's own

@LavenderGhast Very well said

Theatre kids and nerds were entirely different groups. Theatre kids want everyone to look at them, they're overly dramatic, like drama, it's in the title. Dorks, nerds and metal guys with long hair just wanted to be left alone and look at cool art of dudes using battle axes on dragons. Dorks, nerds and metal heads made all these types of games. Theatre kids just infested it when it became popular enough to gain attention by making themselves the face of it. And now we have quirky millennial writing plaguing everything.

@SkiBall3148 @RAWigger It is also stunningly on the nose in a way you’ve never seen before

@RAWigger That show is some of the wokest shit I've ever seen, just look at the summaries of some of the episodes

@jorgertg98 Always thought it was strange to name your police state spyware after the palantir when Sauron’s defeat was because he was mislead by Aragorn and Pippin when looking through it. Gave him bad intelligence that lost him the whole war

Finding out Thiel mightve named palantir not out of love for lotr itself but as an homage to a fanfic that reimagined Sauron as the reason based hero and the fellowship as the backwards villains. You cannot make this shit up

@TimmyKal12 I did exactly the same thing when I had to travel for work and didn’t know they closed the plane 30 minutes before departure. Instantly became a 3 hours early to the airport guy

New career lowlife just dropped: I missed my flight despite getting there a half hour early sitting 20 yards from the gate

@ImperiumFirst Groypers have like 2 mandates and one of them is to hide your power level

Rod Dreher tells Jeremy Boreing he was FRIGHTENED to discover 30-40% of young men in D.C are Groypers "Every young man I met in their 20s, I asked them [if they were Groypers], they all said yes. They don't want anything, they want to tear it all down—Dude, this is Weimar."

@_ezeokolorie It was 2 weeks 4 years ago but I think about it so often

Currently living in that period of life between the job offer and the start date, ts feels phenomenal 😭

@thatstarwarsgrl Keep moving the cope goalposts guys it’s working

Yes a movie in 2026 where average ticket prices are astronomical compared to movies from 2004 & 2000. What an accomplishment

@simongerman600 is there something in the water of the Ohio and Mississippi rivers?

This gun ownership and yoga interest matrix is totally hilarious!

@b_cuse_ Forest fires are a natural part of the cycle. We used to manage the forests so this wouldn’t happen and also didn’t have eco terrorists intentionally starting them

It’s crazy how you can simply point out that this didn’t used to happen every single summer and armchair environmental scientists will jump in and try to gaslight you into believing that this is totally not a downstream effect of human-induced climate change.

@Running_Gag_2 @SandyofCthulhu @exQUIZitely There are at least two of us

@SandyofCthulhu @exQUIZitely I think I’m the only person who thought MOO was better than MOO2, so didn’t even bother with MOO3.

Another masterpiece closing in on 30 years… one of the finest turn-based strategy games I’ve ever played: Master of Orion II (Simtex, 1996). It was a massive leap forward from the already outstanding original released in 1993. Master of Orion II delivers everything a sci-fi strategy nerd could want: planet colonization and terraforming, infrastructure development, research into countless ship designs, weapons, shields and technologies, diplomacy with alien races, epic space battles - and, of course, black-hole generators capable of devouring capital ships in a single blast! With excellent graphics (relative to its genre), an intro that immediately hooks you, multiple paths to victory (each with its own end-credit cutscenes), a slightly eerie, spacey soundtrack, and near-endless replayability, the game comes remarkably close to perfection. Even three decades in, it simply feels timeless. It fully earns its place among the great strategy titles of the 90s, standing proudly alongside Civilization and Alpha Centauri. I'll take any bet and say it will still be played 30 years from now.