Craig

@DrClownPhD @kevmccran @s_logan88

Chuck Norris doesn’t follow the plot. He changes it.

@SammyJReacts @kevmccran

Might be the funniest scene in the entire show 😭

@YFIHQ @kevmccran

Science!

@dickisnotclean @kevmccran

Farting in front of your Jewish girlfriend and saying a little gas never hurt anybody

@fesshole @kevmccran liam

After a shower my family shout "NUDDY RUNNING" and run round the whole house naked. Wasn't until I told my partner I found out it wasn't normal.

@kevmccran @jambo__fett 😆

@jambo__fett @cwright87

Before I married her, I took my missus on 8 dates and then we went to the cinema for our 9th. Our dates were dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN

@fesshole @kevmccran matchett

Met the woman of my dreams. Was going well. Absolutely fucked it when she asked me to talk dirty to her and I panicked. I said, "Welcome to pound town. Population, you." Haunts me to this day.

@fesshole @s_logan88 @kevmccran blady

In the recent snow i was running late for work & didn't have time to defrost the car, so I stuck my head out the window like Ace Ventura. Two mins into my journey, blue lights flashing behind me. Charged with dangerous driving & car seized. Couldn't tell work so rang in sick

@CelebW29239 @s_logan88

@kevmccran @punt_rd

@punt_rd @cwright87

It’s Slayer and Wham with ‘Angel of Last Christmas’! Merry Christmash up! ‘Aaaaaaaaarrrrrrrggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!’ 🤣🤘🤣

@fesshole @kevmccran @s_logan88 l33

In a crowded bar, I got chatting to a beautiful woman after we both smelled an awful fart and laughed about it. We've been married 5 years next week and she still tells people the story of how we met. I still haven't admitted it was me.

@Bairdric1 @kevmccran @s_logan88 matchett

Genuinely , how in the fuck can anyone be arsed going through this rigmarole every day of your existence. Fuck that!

@kevmccran @OldGilles Me in a couple year

@OldGilles @cwright87 😂😂😂

@Sherky1888 @SkyNews @s_logan88

Rangers have issued a warning to the public about the dangers of digging large pits after a passer-by alerted them to a 6ft hole dug by children on the beach in Polzeath, Cornwall. Latest UK news 👉 trib.al/JdGS1Dq

@historyrock_ @s_logan88 @weejoe1987

Bruce Springsteen and John Fogerty performing "Pretty Woman" at Madison Square Garden, New York City, 2009. Fantastic version by these two living legends. Roy Orbison must have clapped in heaven.

@weejoe1987 @historyrock_ A living God!

@historyrock_ @cwright87

Bruce Springsteen covering "Twist & Shout" at London's Wembley Stadium a few days ago.

@s_logan88 @fesshole @kevmccran

@cwright87 @fesshole @kevmccran That genuinely could be me

Wife recently found a battered sausage and a load of chips in our garden, we spent most of the evening theorising it's origin. It was me, she came home early 1 day and caught me mid lunch, we're on a diet, I panic launched it out the window intending to collect it later. I forgot

@Lady_FanAccount @s_logan88

Michael Jackson & Slash - Give In To Me #90s twitter.com/another_backup…

@WUTangKids @kevmccran