Dave Parkins

@fesshole I'll rewrite for you. My Husband retired early and I'm still working, I'm resentful so I abuse him.

My husband retired early so gets a weekly list of household cleaning jobs. Truth is he's very good at it, much better than me and our old paid cleaner. Chuffed, but I'm not telling him so point out tiny bits he's missed. Got to keep him on his toes and standards mustn't drop.

@jstypingshi That's celebrating? 😂 One guy dancing and the others getting dressed or on their phone 😂 Great party 😂

this is how u celebrate after a trophy drought, not immediately posting instagram stories of a rival fan👍🏼

@stophe73 Last one is you're. The won. Probably was rigged. Just saying what I see 🤷 got nothing to do with knowing or not knowing what I'm talking about

@davey_p84 I look forward to seeing your retraction after you’ve watched a few more series and know what your talking about 🤔

#RaceAcrossTheWorld is rigged for Jo and Kush to win. Hotel allowing them to sleep on 2 2nd floor sofas 🤔 then have their taxi paid for 🤔 and they literally taxi everywhere

@Priceless_MCI 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 You hate Arsenal fans because of 1 tweet 😂😂😂😂 1 tweet from someone that probably isn't an Arsenal fan. Rival fans ladies and gentlemen 😂

Pep literally won two out of the three available trophies in England this season, this is why everyone hates arsenals fans, pathetic.

@Dubs_LFC We're not allowed to celebrate. We celebrate when we 'havent won anything' and we also 'over-celebrate'. Players are told to 'just get down the tunnel'. Facts. Receipts are there all over the internet. Do you get it now?

This is all Arsenal is now A social media club They don’t celebrate they’ve won, all I’ve seen is current players, ex players, fans going on about comparisons or doing cringey things for clicks and impressions, celebrating by mentioning other clubs, rival fans, gimmicks. One of the fakest and most forced clubs around at the moment 😂😂😂😂 This has only been the last few years btw, before that I actually respected them as a club and never minded them

@Nino12x No that Man City 'fan' is cringe. Did it too soon the pillock. Looks like a right lemon now does the self-titled "prankster". Pranked himself 😂 sky need to interview him tonight 😂

League made a mistake handing this trophy to Arsenal, Arteta is so cringe 🤮

@JustKingss Who's having your kidney then? 👀

I can bet my kidney that Arsenal won’t win the EPL trophy. Crystal Palace will humble them. Pep will win his last league title this Sunday before he says goodbye to City fans. Bookmark this!!

@PLCPolice I'm disgusted by it. They need to get down the tunnel

Arsenal celebrating like they’ve won the league

First team to bottle the league and win the league in the same season. We don't celebrate, it's not allowed. Straight down the tunnel I go. Now they have won the league in the social media era so that meme is gone. #Arsenal 🤝

@Gavgunner1 @HACKETTREF Keith hates Arsenal, he won't let facts get in the way

@HACKETTREF Wasnt at speed wasnt intense wasnt with force and contact was limited give over was a yellow

Richard it was an easily detected red card offence. It WAS Serious Foul Play. I am bemused that Ref, VAR and 4th official got this wrong. Webb must take responsibility.

@SkySportsPL Well played the ref and VAR 👏 the right decision was made. Even if a red was given, still 1-0 and 3 points to all the moaners 😂

"I don't think that's right..." Gary Neville REACTS to Kai Havertz's challenge on Ugochukwu's calf.

@anon_opin Yeah I deleted my birthday from my account. Sod that

Social media has turned birthdays into a day of admin! Having to like every post & reply to every WhatsApp, all while worrying about missing someone's post or message & inadvertently upsetting them. Plus, the pressure of returning everyone's birthday wishes throughout the year.

@clarabo1 Great input 👏👏👏 Really wasn't much point replying was there?

@davey_p84 🥱🥱🥱🥱

@Tanya_Tee_ Of course not. They've done the dirty on Danny. Was he perfect? No. He likes to joke around. He also didn't like the gobby side of Bec which is totally understandable

They didn't show Danny feeling bad for Bec at the end #mafsau

@anon_opin They don't refuse. It's simply not on the menu. Big difference

My local cinema will happily sell me a burger and over a litre of fizzy drink but refuses to serve hot soup. This is unacceptable. I just want to watch an MCU film while dunking bread into hot tomato soup. Tinned tomato soup would do.

@AnnMartinF It's the 1st civilian one I've watched. I don't know, I feel it's rigged for them to win because of the apparent "Scouse charm".

@davey_p84 Couples have had taxis paid for them in other series, or free lifts. The way people behave with others as well as their situation, often brings out the kindness of strangers.

@pacer142 @Ralph_Hapschatt @anon_opin 500m apart 🤔 I think the 2 Bedford stations are over a mile apart

@Ralph_Hapschatt @anon_opin There'll only be 4 once East West Rail is done. Fenny and Bow Brickhill are to close. Fenny is a bit useless and largely mitigated by an entrance to Bletchley on the other side, but I find it silly that there will be 2 stations in Bedford 500m apart but no west MK station.

Milton Keynes Central station should be renamed Milton Keynes, seeing as there aren't any other stations with Milton Keynes in their name so nothing else to get it confused with.

@anon_opin MKC just called. They'll drop 'central' if the football club drop 'dons'

@fesshole Never? Never knows what date it is? She's caught you out as a liar. This will be held against you

My wife won't eat things on their sell by or best before date. She also never knows what the date is. So when she asks me, I always say the day before so she'll eat the perfectly fine food