Gandalf the Green

@wolfofx It’s all good. We’ll start stealing the cheat about now and it’ll all be blue by morning. Just getting the ballot stuffers ready.

@DavidShuster It’s alright. We’ll start cheating the steal right about now. They’ll all be blue by morning.

Big picture: Given the counties reporting so far in WI, MI, PA, and AZ...and the counties (mostly urban areas/suburbs) lagging/still to report, Harris is in good shape to win those four swing states and finish with 281 EV. Losing GA + NC would be irrelevant. #election2024

@Amer1can_Barbie Yes - you share it with Marge

I share my beautiful state with a bunch of fucking retards.

@TheCalvinCooli1 Just to make sure of it we’ll get 1,000,000. I personally stamped 50,000 last night. My wrist hurts so bad.

🚨New: Fox News John Roberts said Harris needs to have 700,000 votes in Philadelphia in order to pull out the win in Pennsylvania. In 2016 Clinton got 560,542 votes In 2020 Biden got 603,790 votes

@Missi_W5 Does she go to Trump University?

My youngest daughter drove home from college last night to participate in her very first Presidential election! She told me she was so excited to be able to tell her kids one day that her first vote ever was for Donald Trump. This is what she did as soon as we walked outside. God Bless America! 🇺🇸❤️

@VuyisileMavesta @ChiefBaltasar @NcosaTeddy AI “edited”, not AI made.

@ChiefBaltasar @NcosaTeddy And you said those videos were AI edited…

@sarahbeth345 @TheDemocrats The fact that you think “abortion” is the only women’s issue on the table is funny. Voting for Trump is a slippery slope to eliminating women’s equality, and a regression of women’s rights by 50+ years. That’s why we’re “voting for our daughters”.

@RepJackKimble Is @elonmusk supporting you? I’m sure he can shell out a few emeralds, sorry avocados.

This campaign has been about freedom loving people from all over the 54th District making their voices heard. Some of you have huge donations and for that I am grateful. Some of you could only afford to chip in $5 or $10 and I am disgusted by you that you care so little for this country that you won’t even skip the avocado toast a few times a week to make a real contribution. When I win, it won’t be because of losers like you.

@3YearLetterman You kid, but I give this a 5% chance of actually happening in 2028 or 2032.

I have been silent for too long. Today, I am casting a vote for American unity. It’s time to heal

Donald Trump is a mean, mad, cruel, sad, pompous, puny, lonely, loony, horrible, terrible, no-good, very bad, dippy, disturbed, dopey, deranged, distorted, demented, delirious, delusional, MAGAlomaniac, psychopathic, sociopathic, lead-the-whole-world-down-the-garden-pathic, egoistic, egotistic, narcisstic, solipsistic, chauvinistic, jingoistic, nihilstic, terroristic, antagonistic, opportunistic, animalistic, cannibalistic (unproven), racist, sexist, classist, ableist, isolationist, segregationist, white supremacist, homophobic, transphobic, galeophobic, bathmophobic, shameless, shameful, pitiless, pitiful, helpless, hurtful, friendless, foeful, serial defaulting, sexual assaulting, criminally addicted, thirty-four-count convicted, justice obstructor and document-hoarder and subject of court order after court order, buck-passing, bus-throwing, dog-whistling, fear-sowing, race-baiting, rage-stirring, all-hating, omni-slurring, spirit-crushing, money-hushing, secrets-blabbing, pussy-grabbing, climate-denying, Putin-complying, fast-food-scarfing, soda-snarfing, slush-fund-diverting, Epstein-frequenting, Kim Jong Un-flirting, NATO-dissenting, tchotchke-shilling self-styled Messiah, diplomacy-killing global-pariah, rebellion-provoking, complicity-cloaking, coup-stoking, bear-poking, election-losing, falsely-accusing, republic-destroying, Giuliani-employing, deceitful, deceiving, deceptive, designing, dissembling, duplicitous, dubious, devious, untrusted, untruthful, treacherous, treasonous, Roget’s-thesaurus-exhaustingly traitorous, awful, unlawful, eats-crow-by-the-jawful, vain, insane, got-rocks-in-the-brain, hypocritical, parasitical, horrible-stain-on-the-body-political, bullying, bullying, bullying, stop bullying!, self-absorbed, self-admiring, self-concerned, self-important, self-obsessed, self-conceited, self-involved, self-regarding, self-seeking, self-serving, self-defeating, self-fulfilling, apparently self-loving, actually self-loathing, abusive, befuddled, corrupting, destructive, embittered, fallacious, grotesque, horrendous, indignant, judgmental, kowtowing, lethargic, malicious, neurotic, obnoxious, pathetic, quick-tempered, resentful, sadistic, tormented, upsetting, vindictive, washed-up, xenophobic, yammering, zombified, awkwardly autocratic, fecklessly fascist, totally-not-ready-for-totalitarianism, strongman except for the strong part, Mussolini without the muscle, Needy Amin, intellectually bankrupt, spiritually bankrupt, morally bankrupt, literally bankrupt, leather-jerkined, crystal-buttoned, knot-pated, caddis-gartered, sodden-witted, elvish-marked, rumbumptious, disloyal, unworthy, discouraging, unhappy, dismissive, unpleasant, disdainful, unhealthy, disinterested, uncaring, disorganized, unfeeling, rage-tweeting, misspelling, ALL CAPS ABUSING!, flat-footed, weak-kneed, yellow-bellied, lily-livered, stony-hearted, tiny-handed, sticky-fingered, “yeti-pubed”, “toadstool-penised”, thin-skinned, cold-blooded, bone-unspurred, stiff-necked, bald-faced, slack-jawed, double-tongued, foul-mouthed, snot-nosed, shifty-eyed, beetle-browed, soft-brained, narrow-minded, where-do-you-even-begin-haired, wolfish, boorish, waspish, sheepish, apeish, piggish, sluggish, slothful, catty, fishy, squirrely, weaselly, snake, skunk, cuckoo, chicken, one-term, twice-impeached, three-far-right-Justice-appointing, four-time indicted, Fifth Amendment-cowering, six-time insolvent, G7-detested, eight-year-term-limited, 9/11-valor-stealing, Ten Commandments-exploiting, Chapter Elevened, 12-member-jury convicted, angry, broken, clueless, dreary, eerie, feeble, gutless, heartless, idle, joyless, klutzy, leery, morbid, nasty, oafish, painful, queasy, rabid, shabby, tiresome, unstable, vicious, whiny, X-rated, yapping zero.

@terminallyOL Well if your only friend is @jdvance and he comes over and sits on the couch with you, then there’s only one place the love is going.

matt walsh has never had a friend drunkenly say "i love you dude, you're the best" and that explains so much about his everything

@AGIowa Amazing! Now why don’t you go look for another problem that has already been solved many times over?

🚨BREAKING: the Court just upheld that only American citizens can vote in Iowa elections. I was glad to lead the fight defending our election integrity laws. This victory guarantees all Iowans that their votes will count & not be canceled out by illegal votes.

@ettingermentum 269-269 would be the absolute best result for our fuck-ass political system. We need changes and whatever forces the issue will be great. The process needs overhauling from the roots.

Iowa allowing for huge innovations in fuckass map science

@RepJackKimble There is absolutely nothing in the 18th amendment allowing women to vote for other women. Therefore, any woman voting for Kamala is breaking the law and those votes should be thrown out.

When our founding fathers passed the 18th amendment giving the women the right to vote, it was with the understanding that they would vote the same way as their husbands and fathers. This is unfair and a grave threat to our democracy if women are just going to vote higgledy-piggledy for any candidate that suits their fancy.

@kristafigtree Very Connor Roy vibes.

@Ami_Marisol Take a chill pill. Imagine the squirrel was an illegal immigrant and the agency was ICE. That should make you feel better about it.

@WarClandestine It’s alright. Just imagine Peanut the squirrel was an illegal immigrant, and the government officials who put him down was ICE. That should make you all feel better. 🤷

Americans after the government f*cks them for decades: 🦗🦗🦗 Americans after the government kills Peanut the squirrel:

@TheCinesthetic Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men. Basically played himself - a funny alcoholic womanizer

Name an actor that was born for the role that they played.

@JessaB61 Did you take lessons in creative writing from the same English teacher?

My 6th grade daughter had her English teacher really angry, and her mama very proud. Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up? L: I want to be a constitutional lawyer and then become president. Teacher: Oh, well Kamala Harris will be our first female president. Isn’t that exciting? L: No. I hope Trump wins. Teacher: Oh no, he wants to take away women’s rights! L: No he doesn’t. Killing a baby isn’t your right and she wants to let boys in my bathroom. Teacher: We will NOT be discussing this further. 🥰 #ParentWin #Trump2024

@magachrchpastr @RepJackKimble I’m not fully convinced about Jack yet. Send some Rubles or Bitcoin to my account and I’ll definitely vote for him. We need strong and rich leaders.

As a Pastor, I rarely endorse political candidates (even though there are no rules to prohibit it). But I'm making an exception this year. Vote for @RepJackKimble. Even if you don't live in CA's 54th District, write him in. Steve Bannon will make sure it gets to the right place