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@driverfilms

driverfilms:- Silly thoughts and randomness. All thoughts my own and not representative of any employer.

Somewhere Over there Katılım Nisan 2012
80 Takip Edilen46 Takipçiler
Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
Condoms are cheap in bulk so I bought a box of 144 for £10. New GF some months later wanted to help me organize my cupboards and was horrified seeing that many. Never lived it down.
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James May
James May@MrJamesMay·
I’ve done the oven.
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driverfilms
driverfilms@driverfilms·
Seen a few adverts for UK Politics Simulator. Must be an easy game, just do the opposite to what Kier Stalin is doing. #SimulatorGames.
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Ian McEwan
Ian McEwan@mozi78·
Birthday cake grenade bar has rather surprised me!
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Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
I have a canoe on top of my car, it's never been in a drop of water, I just like people to think I have an exciting hobby.
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Jay Ay
Jay Ay@JamesGAyling·
@fesshole When I was a kids’ coach there were parents that DID have cars but just didn’t give a crap about doing anything for their kids. Presumably this guy doesn’t even own a car, maybe because he can’t afford to run one.
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Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
In my child's football team there is a cycling fundamentalist who refuses to go anywhere if he can't cycle. Fine, and very admirable. Except we all have to take it in turns to pick up his child for away games.
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driverfilms
driverfilms@driverfilms·
@Only9built Well with people panick buying fuel I'll go with.. The LM002. Because nobody will tell you to get out of the way at forecourt!
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Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
Was a computer programmer as a student and helped a big company produce a hugely successful ZX Spectrum game - for a laugh managed to put a pixelated cock in one of the backgrounds and it has NEVER been noticed.
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driverfilms
driverfilms@driverfilms·
@fesshole Someone said something so stupid you face-palmed too hard?
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Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
I currently have a massive bruise on my forehead. I got it by walking into a door while not paying attention. But I can't tell anyone that, because everyone knows that "walked into a door" is code for domestic abuse. So I have to invent some plausible fake reason for the injury.
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Electric Blue⚡️💙
Electric Blue⚡️💙@Only9built·
Do you remember the old puzzle game "15" or Puzzle 15? You have to slide the tiles into the vacant black space, move them around until you complete the picture. Easy right?? Well you can find out here⬇️ Link in the reply
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driverfilms retweetledi
Joakim 🌹🇳🇴🇪🇺
Joakim 🌹🇳🇴🇪🇺@joakial_·
New ad by the Norwegian Consumer Council: "A Day in the Life of an Ensh*ttificator"
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Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
I've no idea why one end of the gusset on knickers isn't sewn shut but it's dead useful. When I worked a market stall I'd pop into the loos at the end of the day and put a roll of £50 notes in there for safe keeping on my way home.
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Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
Four years ago I bought my wife a small glass bell and told her that she could ring it any time day or night and I would come and pleasure her. That bell has never sounded.
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Electric Blue⚡️💙
Electric Blue⚡️💙@Only9built·
For me the best of the E-Type was the Series 3 V12 but... Top or Topless..??
Electric Blue⚡️💙 tweet media
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Fesshole🧻
Fesshole🧻@fesshole·
Hubby was worried that the kids would lock themselves in the toilet, so ours has no bolt. Instead, we sing to let others know it's occupied. My husband sings Moon River, which is lovely. I sing Golden Brown by The Stranglers. Probably not what they had in mind.
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driverfilms
driverfilms@driverfilms·
Get a letter through the letter box. One of those credit card companies. If o don't want to receive anymore mail I've got to go online and 'Opt out' of further letters. Why tf should I have to opt out of something I've never opted in for? #Spamletters
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