wot?!?

@HeavenlyGrandpa So good

Kimiko Nishimoto, 89 year old Japanese photographer who began taking photographs at 72 and is known for her humorous and deceptive self-portraits #WomensArt

@BeatTheCult An all-knowing, all-powerful god. It knew every thought I'd ever have a million years before I was born. It could have changed anything it didn't like a million years ago, but didn't. So, this is the way god made me and wants me to be.

@mdnij34 Well, sorta, yeah. But least of all for walking down a set of stairs. Nonetheless, she knew what she was getting when Epstein first introduced her to him.

@tinybaby Savings. You just ACH transfer your balance online. See bankrate.com/banking/saving…, BUT... scroll down passed all the advertisers, click "show more," then scroll more to get down to the "additional offers."

@dudeitskeith are you talking about for checking, or a high yield savings account? because I already have the latter

anybody use sofi? they have 2.5% interest in a checking account with direct deposit, seems a little too good to be true

@FrienemyFire @tinybaby Plus it's 5% but only on the first $10k, and you gotta jump though a lot of hoops. If you balance is more than that, you only 0.01%. So $100k there would earn you $1,400 in interest, vs. more than 2x that elsewhere, without all the hoops. Higher balances would be even worse.

@TheTweetOfGod This is why Jewish women cover their eyes when they light the Shabbat candles

I only masturbated once and I'm still cleaning up the mess.

But, but ... ...can you fuck it! engadget.com/tesla-debuts-o…

@ChuckCjmmn You forgot the decimal point: $9.14. Still ... seems a bit high.

Portlandians: Across the "other" pond, cherry blossoms have begun to bloom in Kawazu (100 miles SW of Tokyo). Kawazu is much further south than PDX, so they always get a headstart on us, but ours should be starting in a few weeks. japantoday.com/category/pictu…? #PDX #CherryBlossoms

i think i might swallow a handful of pennies to see what happens to me

@almightygod I nominate @almightygod, for his omniscience in absolutely knowing absolutely everything bad that would ever happen since the beginning of time, and for his omnipotence in absolutely refusing to ever lift a finger to do anything about it. #GoSmiteYourself!

I feel some smiting coming on. Tag someone who deserve it.

Source: cneos.jpl.nasa.gov/ca then sort by the "CA Distance Minimum" column. Happy New (Final?) Year!

Jan 7 the 2020AP1 meteor – about the size of a 2-story house @>12,600mph – may hit Earth. “May” bc it was seen 1x so trajectory is uncertain. NASA’s nominal guess is it’ll pass million miles away. Their minimum guess: FOR SURE GONNA HIT US: ~700 miles from center of Earth. 🌎💥

@elonmusk @SenWarren Sadly, @SenWarren, @elonmusk has no manager. Plus he really is amazingly adept at #SmallDickEnergy.

@SenWarren Please don’t call the manager on me, Senator Karen 🙏

Let’s change the rigged tax code so The Person of the Year will actually pay taxes and stop freeloading off everyone else. bostonglobe.com/2021/12/13/bus…

Is nothing sacred anymore??? cbsnews.com/news/camels-be…

Less reported, but way funnier to me, is that the Q people thought that Robin Williams was ALSO going to appear today. The funny part is that they thought Robin fucking Williams would be on their side.