Earl Fando 🇺🇦

You mess with Harpo Marx, you get the horns.

Aliens tried to probe Chuck Norris once. The wreckage of their ship is at Area 51.

Some magicians do a trick where they catch a bullet in their teeth, or as Chuck Norris calls it, breakfast.

@JustAMomNamedMM @SilipigniMario Well, I did have to stop to tweet this.

Is everyone still kung fu fighting or not?

100% of respondents to a poll believe that Chuck Norris could win a fight against a bear. The interesting part? The respondents were all bears.

Unlike James Bond, Chuck Norris does not need a license to kill. He only needs a reason.

Not only does Chuck Norris step on Superman’s cape, he wipes his feet on it, cleaning off Jim’s blood.

Chuck Norris never actually makes contact with people when he roundhouse kicks them. They’re pummeled by the air pressure he generates.

Someone once tried to torture Chuck Norris by hooking battery cables to his genitals. He jump started 12 cars and a tractor trailer.

@BobGolen Maybe shirt dyes are toxic?

Dying is deadly

@SethFromThe716 @SadlyCatless “Mom! Yoda’s pee is green!”

Yoda's threat to probe them #HorrifiedTheAliens

@MrGeorgeWallace Big Bedrock is behind this!

Why were The Flintstones the only cartoon that got a vitamin? I'd eat the hell outta some Mr. Magoo calcium tablets and whatnot.

@Variety NARRATOR: Not even close, pal.

Chuck Norris Was a Great Action Star -- but Politics May Overshadow His Legacy variety.com/2026/film/opin…

@VodkaPundit Or as I like to call it, Friday.

Looks like there’s gonna be some hardcore use of the Mute feature tonight.

@JamesLucasIT @karmacamilleon1 What’s also gone is the classic Warner Bros. style, pacing, and wit. But that’s been gone for about sixty years.

We grew up watching hand drawn Disney and now it's just gone. We don't talk about this enough.

Cyclops: how do you spell Hawaii? Wife: Well, you need 2 I’s. Cyclops: (Puts pen down) My life is just a joke to you, isn’t it Kim??

So now @elonmusk and his band of vandals have gotten rid of DMs and replaced it with this garbage “chat?” Stop making the product worse. How about that for a business model?

@BobGolen Don’t see how this can end in two.

White's move. Mate in two.

@SnookerJudge @HangBlaa @BobGolen BKxKn?

@HangBlaa @BobGolen Someone else has got it I think. The key is to see that White's Rook is under threat from Black's King and White's King is blocking the Queen from reaching Row 8. One move solves both those problems.

R.I.P. Chuck Norris. You’re going to see quite a few people making jokes at his expense now that he’s gone and they feel safe enough to get away with them.

Murders in the Roux Morgue #FoodWithFlourInASongOrMovie