Emil’s Fiancée

Apparently the biggest predictor for self-regulation is a lack of constant snacks in childhood. I’ve always been anti-constant snack. I am not a snack mom. I think the childhood snack culture in America is, quite frankly, ridiculous. Now I have yet another reason to be anti-snack

unpopular relationships opinions that would get you in this position???

I'm not actually sure if I buy this line of thinking. Years ago, my mother used to spend a lot of time with Nepalese and Karen Thai refugees, who practiced arranged marriage. My mom asked them: "isn't that awful? Don't you want to marry for love?" They said that marrying for love seemed stupid to them, because the particular feeling of love you get at the beginning dissipates quickly. They said they suspected that's why Americans were always getting divorced; because they had expected an endless fairy tale. And they explained that in an arranged marriage, both parties just make the best of it at first, they may or may not be "compatible" or "in love," but that over time, the kind of commitment this type of marriage requires leads them to fall into a deeper, quieter, more enduring kind of love that sustains them across all of their life. So my mother used to tell me that who you marry shouldn't matter so much; it is about how you both approach the idea of marriage more than anything. And I think this is probably right. Refuse divorce at all costs; insist on deepening the connection, shape each other over time, and you will develop a symbiosis so deep it is unbreakable and un-changed by the vicissitudes of sentiment or "compatibility."

If you're married and you see marriage as an equal partnership, how does that actually work when the two of you disagree on a big decision? My husband is the head of our family, so if I don't agree with him about something I give him my perspective on it but it's ultimately his decision. So we really don't get into any big arguments. I'm like an advisor to a CEO. But if you don't think your husband is in charge, how does that play out when you disagree on anything important? For example if he wanted to buy a new vehicle and you disagree - who gets their way and why?