Dr. Ibrahim Nasser

Hi please don’t vape around my baby. We’re raising him exclusively on Marlboro reds.

I’ve been casually slipping in fake British sayings and words into conversation with my American partner - here’s the one’s she believes:

Milk in Britain is the most delicious milk I have ever drank

Good Friday reminds us of Jesus Christ’s sacrifice. May this day further deepen the values of harmony, compassion and forgiveness. May brotherhood and hope guide us all.

If you’re a Japanese and you’re coming to America. Fly into New Orleans and I will pick you up from the airport in my Toyota and we will eat so many meats and then Omakase and the we will get drunk at 3-4 different country music places and I will protect you from blacks and trans. We will meet Shia Lebouf. I have a guest room and a pool. I have about 12 guns we can shoot as well.

My daughter is interested in getting into smoking cigarettes (for weight loss) does anybody have any recommendations for beginner cigarettes that won’t make her cough too much? She hasn’t been taking to the Marlboro Reds. She’s 11

@DavidPGCSE Karaoke bar in Tokyo, 90 mins private room with unlimited drinks. Looks of horror and confusion as the 8th beer pitcher is ordered. Nobody does it better 🇬🇧

@thepointsguy I can spot a recliner before they recline

Tell us you’re a frequent flyer without telling us you’re a frequent flyer. ✈️

@PanasonicDX4500 The only thing in the way of me becoming a smoker is the hygienic aspect. Stinks up everything. Can’t do it

@PanasonicDX4500 Was this directed by Wong Kar Wai or something? I could watch a whole movie of this.

@PanasonicDX4500 I haven’t smoked a cigarette in 20 years and I’m about to go to the gas station for a pack of Parliaments now

When a deaf passenger takes a ride with a deaf Didi driver, the moment they share a smile has touched many people! (Source: 人民日报)

i pulled out my pack of cigs i got in europe and the girl next to me at the bar screamed

@borekbruhh You should visit Kenya. It is outside the matrix completely.

Throwing up in the airport is so fucking rockstar. A badge of honor showing you went hard as fuck. I respect that. Some people go hiking and get matchas on Saturdays and talk about boring shit and that’s fine, but some people are dry heaving in the airport before they sit in row 29b. I love that more

How it feels to drink one Sapporo

@joeybeastmarket Church clothes don’t fit no QR code, child, walk like Jesus did

@JakeNomada Maturing is living at a high elevation in the tropics.

the world belongs to functional alcoholics

People of Japan are amazing.