Shitpost Express

@CaudilloXIV 8 foot tall highly intelligent lizard daddy?

The 7/11 line at 3am

@nypost Well duh, she should have used the womanhole

Woman dies after falling into open manhole in Midtown: NYPD trib.al/WAVUzQ7

@JinjingLiang @github ZERO NINES

@github Don't worry everyone; they're secure 14% of the time!

We are investigating unauthorized access to GitHub’s internal repositories. While we currently have no evidence of impact to customer information stored outside of GitHub’s internal repositories (such as our customers’ enterprises, organizations, and repositories), we are closely monitoring our infrastructure for follow-on activity.

@1895Calum just dont shoplift lol

can't wait for them to explain how death is an acceptable punishment for shoplifting.

@SeasideChris Oh hey I remember these, we had an electric one. Remember it had multiple splices in the cord from being run over.

In today’s “I’m never deleting this app”, Americans discover flymos… 😂😂😂

@Tr00peRR >its da joos >attacks a mosque every time

Another alleged excerpt

A portion of the livestream from yesterday. No audio.

@Tr00peRR we got temu tarrant before gta 6

@eldemar_o @GregoryScaduto “We were brought up in a harder time” *literally brought up in the easiest time ever*

@GregoryScaduto Correct. The difference being that we boomers were brought up in a harder time so we don't give a stuff

In defense of the boomers. The contempt we aim at the old is practice for the contempt that will one day be aimed at us.

@GregoryScaduto If the boomers didn’t want me to hate them then they shouldn’t have trapped me on this prison island

I am so sorry for posting furry stuff on main, but I’ve been wanting to have a fursuit since I was a little kid. @SymphonTail did such an amazing job making my suit real. I'm so excited and so happy.

@2ndFleeg @wunbackwoo @WurzelRoot they'll never have one, at least not until we make one for them

@wunbackwoo @WurzelRoot >snow monkeys I yearn for when a real insult gets made

do black people know we can smell this? like when i was a kid i remember a group of white kids discussing in hushed tones why black people reek, wondering if we were allowed to ask about it. take showers guys.

@ktndisk197812 COW RAVE COW RAVE

牛舎にカラスが押し寄せて牛のエサを盗み食いして糞垂れて困ってたので カラス避けレーザーを注文してたら 届くまでの間にカラスが居なくなってた·· まぁまたそのうち来るんだろうけど結構なお値段するのでなんか切ない····(´；ω；｀)

@ksdotlewis you do understand thats still disgusting, right?

For all of you loose haired heathens….a 2 year build up is not the same as not washing her hair for 2 years. It’s probably been 2 years since her last detox which is considered a deep clean that strips all of the product, lint, and environmental debris that can get trapped INSIDE the locs themselves that a regular wash can’t fully get rid of.

#aeromorph #livingmachine

@BBCNews Mass deportations

What would make the UK a better place to live? A new project aims to find out bbc.in/4wzyRaL

@erotomanes aura

why do quantum computers look like that

@ThatKaleGuy I have an issue with you hating "Nazism" because you define "Nazism" as literally fucking anything you dislike or disagree with in any way

You have a problem with… hating Nazism? That’s a great look I’m sure

@Boris5090198572 @KarimBaziz4 @KingLohengramm massive fucking skill issue I'm afraid

@fcuking_racon @KarimBaziz4 @KingLohengramm Take a fucking wild guess. Guns from your country swarming my fucking country every day. And come to take what belongs to me. Even the original copy of my country’s constitution is in your country… so yeah I am definitely not here for you!

@Spinoozilla @Kamen_Sailor @katee_K1 Just simply executing your violent criminals works very well actually

@Kamen_Sailor @katee_K1 That has literally never worked ever

A completely innocent 29-year-old man chased down and stabbed to death in broad daylight because some teenage gang members (Stokey16) got a text telling them to put “notches on your blade” or get kicked out. Random target. No reason. Just pure evil for clout. The part where Joshua collides with the little girl on roller skates while running for his life, then actually pauses to check if she’s okay before they catch up and stab him… that’s heartbreaking. He was trying to get into a shop for safety and still showed basic human decency in his final moments. Theo Momodu (who admitted it), Taylar Isaac, and David Kerrigan all got life sentences. Good. But it doesn’t bring Joshua back, and it doesn’t fix the broken culture that turns kids into killers over gang nonsense. Senseless waste of life. Rest in peace to Joshua White. This kind of street garbage needs to stop.

@katee_K1 Bring back the death penalty. Make it public.