Lee

@Kristinartz Plumped up lips and turkey teef.

Men: Be brutally honest. What makes a woman INSTANTLY unattractive?

@80s_Kidz Spontaneous combustion!

What does this photo remind you off?

@AndieDelicacy How bad a wife was she. That he actually staged his own kidnapping, just to not go on a TV show with her.

I've been so busy, I haven't had time to find out what's going on with Katie Price's husband

@AndyWoodturner @qikipedia Has a slight fishy smell...

In 2015, a student at the University of Wisconsin successfully made yoghurt using her own vaginal bacteria. She ate it for breakfast with blueberries.

@Mellor76 I can't see the post the guy has limited ppl seeing it! Screen shot it !

It’s my fuckin wife and children in the Advert!!!?!?? What are you talking about!???

Oh my fucken days. How many people just walked on by! How very sad.

@DeeClared @OctopusEnergy I came here for the comments! Do the box back up again. Stick it in a cupboard it'll be worth a tenner in a hundred years time!

Oops....

@OctopusEnergy DM sent

@ffswhy Hi Lee 👋 I hope you're enjoying your new EV 🙌 It sounds like Octopus Go might be a good fit for you. This tariff is open to all EV users and allows you to benefit from cheaper charging overnight. More here: octopus.energy/smart/go/ but feel free to drop us a DM with any Q's 🐙

@OctopusEnergy hiya, I'm on octopus energy and have just bought an electric car. If I plug in a 3kw slow charger in a socket is there a tariff for this or only if a 7/7.4kw charger.

@bungle666ue @MorganBroadcast You may as well have said cut it off and sticker a plaster on it... You're gonna get so much shit for your comment! 😂😂

@MorganBroadcast Straighten it as best you can, splint it, and bandage it reasonably tightly... this will stop it moving around, try and keep him peaceful in a cat box till Monday, and then take him to your own vet. once its splinted, the pain will massively reduce

Our 4-year-old cat appears to have broken one of its front legs and is in a lot of pain. When I gently tried to examine it he bit (lightly) me and hissed for the first time (very out of character for him). Local vet closed at midday so was told to call their out-of-hours via @VetsNowUK. They’re demanding £350 just to look at him, with any treatment/medication on top at a premium. These are not people who care about animals. These are people who care about money.

@MercedesBenz hiya just bought a 2021 plate EQA downloaded the your Google app I've registered and tried to log in. But when I do it just goes back to log in page.

@ChaponaBike123 @1Saffa1 No fucker would get anyway. Oh there's a blind bend. STOP DON'T MOVE!!

@1Saffa1 If you can’t see where you’re going, then don’t attempt the manoeuvre. Road safety 1 on 1.

Apparently this was "careless cycling" according to plod, and I got a letter through the post. It beggars belief sometimes. 🤷‍♂️

@I_R_BUCKAROO Picking it up Tmw can't wait... This little aygo wiped my car out last week.

@ffswhy Missus has an electric mini so the house is all set up for it. Enjoy the new whip mate

I may have joined the dark side of electric cars.....

@I_R_BUCKAROO We have free charging at work. What I'm paying for the car is my deisel cost a month. She's fucking lovely

@ffswhy Have it. I’m thinking about going in on the IONIQ 5

@floboflo Fuck my old boots. You caught a few today didn'cha

Mad to think Farage could be in number 10 as early as Saturday morning!

@IpscTwo @SamaHoole Because nothing to pollinate most of the yr. That's like someone sitting in a mcd's for 6 months waiting for a burger.

@ffswhy @SamaHoole I was more asking why there weren’t bees there to begin with…

Vegans: "Drinking cow's milk is unnatural!" Great point. So instead of pulling on some teats for thirty seconds, we've developed a twelve-step industrial alternative. Step one: grow almonds in California, a drought-afflicted state currently depleting an aquifer that took twenty thousand years to fill. Step two: ship them to a processing facility. Step three: soak them in water. California water, specifically, because almonds need 15 gallons per ounce and California is already rationing. Step four: pulverise them into a slurry. Step five: filter the slurry through fine mesh, discarding most of the actual almond in the process. That was the bit with the nutrition in it. Gone now. Step six: add more water, because the resulting liquid isn't watery enough. Step seven: add sweeteners, because it tastes of nothing. Step eight: add emulsifiers, because it separates in six minutes otherwise. Step nine: add synthetic vitamins, because all the natural ones left in step five. Step ten: add seed oils, because we apparently learned nothing. Step eleven: homogenise, degas, pasteurise, and sterilise the mixture until it resembles no food that has ever existed in nature. Step twelve: put it in a carton with a picture of a field on it. The cow: stands in a field. Makes milk. Has done this for ten thousand years. No factory. No steps. No aquifer. Unnatural, though. Very unnatural.

@BarclaysUKHelp Done

@ffswhy Hi Lee, if you can pop over to DM, and provide as much info as possible regarding your query I'll certainly see how I can help. - Steve twitter.com/messages/compo…

@BarclaysUKHelp afternoon is there anyone there I can speak to about something please.