lindsi the cheese croc 🧀

why paint me like one of those french girls when you can eat me like one of those french croissants

@RobDenBleyker fuck Kevin

happy birthday kevin

@holleratbrian why does she look like our favorite babushka? 🤣🤣

Adrift 🌊

when will cats realize that the licking must stop?

am i going to have children?! i still tuck my stuffed animals in so none of them feel abandoned

@RobDenBleyker dead ass fuck

@flindis dead ass

why are they called cemeteries and not bone zones

@Shelem304 14 if they’re black 8 if they’re red Solid 2.5 if they’re green Over 9000 if they’re frozen AND black

How y’all feel about grapes? Scale of 1-10 the highest being the best score

going on a stupid run for my stupid mental health

@schoonerz I always break the pack open enough for me to feel it.

Toilet paper roll packs should have a patch of the TP on the outside so you can feel whether you’re getting the good soft stuff

@pollarik up your butt

men will seriously wear cargo shorts instead of going to therapy.

@e_cantrell23 I will I promise

@flindis @ me next time

@holleratbrian No

Can I borrow some sea monkeys?

@adamgreattweet @ellencastro91 I named mine Macchiato (Otto for short), AKA Lil Beebee Boi, Lil Turkey, Momma’s Beebee

dog owners: their name is buddy cat owners: their name is cool ranch dorito

LET 👏 THE 👏 WOMEN 👏 IN 👏 YOUR 👏 LIFE 👏 STAB 👏 YOU 👏 IF 👏 THEY 👏 WANT 👏

SCOTUS? how about SCROTUS, amirite?

the urge to smash your cat’s face in while passionately screaming “I LOVE YOU SO MUCH”

my toxic trait is knowing that my music taste is better than anyone else’s