Luke

Just did my first Glastonbury stone cold sober for the entire weekend. One of the best and I can recall every single moment. It has still completely ruined my body. I'd do it all over again tomorrow. Thank you @glastonbury @GlastoLive @secretglasto 🥲

Arsenal fans trying to work out if it’s warm enough to wear shorts to Wembley tomorrow whilst Tottenham fans are trying to work out how many wins they need to prevent relegation There are weekends, and there are weekends

@MikeyHotspurs Grown man acting like this. You're a proper weird bloke.

ADJUSTMENT MADE We all know who really won the League in 2017 If you win a gold medal in the Olympics and are later found out to be a drug cheat you are stripped of the medals Please tell me the difference Chelsea broke numerous rules It’s not just Hazard that was playing for Chelsea illegally, it’s many more So on that note the adjustment has been made and guess what SPURS WON THE LEAGUE IN 2017

Not sure what's funnier about this game. Spurs fighting relegation or the 'league champions' fighting for 4th. Both pathetic.

@EastStandDan @piggers10 @simonbatman @JRH_90 9th August

Good Morning to Max Dowman. Also a pleasant Morning to @piggers10 @simonbatman @JRH_90 and the rest of the East Stand. Even my man sit down Larry couldn't sit down for that one! And a further good morning to @gammyhandinit for the extra curricular activities post match! COYG🔴⚪

A wizard is never late. He arrives precisely when he means to. #HesDoneItAgain

@kieran11788 Nah Max Dowman on repeat x

@gammyhandinit Haha not getting wound up by Son videos this evening?!

Watched the rugby over the football tonight, great decision. PL awful standard too robotic and the league winners playing for set pieces. Boring to watch, CB’s and GK’s having the most touches, and then topped off with VAR.

@henrywinter @Grov_esyy Don't talk about our club and start arse licking now you dog shagger

You won’t win anything with kids? Try telling Max Dowman. Such confidence, composure, touch and vision. Such balance. Such a talent. Just turned 16, creates Arsenal’s first, then scores unforgettable second gliding from his own half. Doing his GCSEs, passing his PL tests. #ARSEVE

Instantly makes top 3 Emirates era moments

The youngest goalscorer and youngest player in Premier League history both play for Arsenal. Hale End is special ✨

@chiddyafc WE GOT OUR LICK BACK 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

@the_mann89 Unbelievable mate. I was all over the place

Fucking scenes.

MAX DOWMAN RUNS THE LENGTH OF THE PITCH AND WINS IT FOR ARSENAL! 🌟 The youngest-ever Premier League goalscorer!

The greatest individual peaks we’ve witnessed in sport

All-time one-liner here

oh look? it’s the very same trophy that Arsenal won in 1994 that Spurs fans say doesn’t count 🤷‍♂️ copium

@MikeyHotspurs You're an absolute fucking wet wipe

What I want to happen until summer 1) Spurs to stay up 2) Arsenal to bottle all the trophies 3) West Ham to get relegated 4) Mikel Arteta to leave Arsenal 5) Pep Guardiola to leave Man City Premier League back to its former glory

@ThatGuy28780245 Pep won't be there next season.

Maybe this is a hot take. And I’m going to be as neutral & not biased as I say this. If Man City fail to win the league this season? They won’t be better next season. It will be a team full of players who recognised they’re 3 years removed from their best years, whilst the likes of Stones & Rodri continue with their injury woes, the likes of Foden, Kovacic & Reijnders realise that their roles have been diminished. You also have the idea of an ageing Silva departing & more players being replaced in the 11. I’m not saying they will become a 7th placed side… impossible, it’s Pep. But they will not be as competitive as they once were.

Arne Slot, you pathetic excuse-peddling Dutch bellend, last season you rode Klopp's coattails to a title and now your Liverpool lot are a sixth-placed laughing stock, bottling it left right and centre while you cry about 'low blocks', set-pieces ruining your 'football heart', bad luck and players not hitting standards. Blaming everyone but your own bald tactical fuckups? Can't break down buses, concede late goals like amateurs, and you're whinging the PL's too physical? Piss off back to Holland you whiny cunt, sack yourself before they do. No excuses, just results you bald fraud.