laurie

my signature move is joining a call, saying "one sec" and staying deafened for hours

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

drain cleaner: leave for 5 minutes and then run water me: ok :) me 8.5 hrs later: oh no

Seeing people on my tl buying the switch 2 and Pokopia like:

😭💜

twitter removed in-app dark mode??? my shit is BRIGHT WHITE

in a room full of 100 people, i could be one of them.

spending $50 on Fortnite to play for 20 mins and get off x.com/rornronrnron/s…

@zystii @brandonjammin @ochreboy @notdexsal @ily_lychee @kipkaii @SincerelyCheya @brandonmodetwo @emmaagrab @ItsPattyGz @monky_219 @bobakittenn @trick_r_treatz @terrenceace_ @zystapes @AdamMagdziak1 @FG_Gibby @OMGfgc dont look at me like that…

@brandonjammin @ochreboy @notdexsal @ily_lychee @gu_iie @kipkaii @SincerelyCheya @brandonmodetwo @emmaagrab @ItsPattyGz @monky_219 @bobakittenn @trick_r_treatz @terrenceace_ @zystapes @AdamMagdziak1 @FG_Gibby @OMGfgc

This Valentine’s Day I hope Cupid kills all of my followers

@brandonjammin @zystii @ochreboy @notdexsal @ily_lychee @kipkaii @SincerelyCheya @brandonmodetwo @emmaagrab @ItsPattyGz @monky_219 @bobakittenn @trick_r_treatz @terrenceace_ @zystapes @AdamMagdziak1 @FG_Gibby @OMGfgc what did i do what the heck

@zystii @ochreboy @notdexsal @ily_lychee @gu_iie @kipkaii @SincerelyCheya @brandonmodetwo @emmaagrab @ItsPattyGz @monky_219 @bobakittenn @trick_r_treatz @terrenceace_ @zystapes @AdamMagdziak1 @FG_Gibby @OMGfgc

I'm 20. Bought myself the spongebob sidekick on fortnite. Not "parents." Not "got lucky." I set a goal and achieved it Discipline, awareness, priorities.

so far this year has felt like being awake during surgery

fucking everything up and reaching flaw state

liked 2 many tweets in a row now twitter thinks im a bot

When ur drinking coffee and ur eyelids start getting heavy and its just like oh okay so you were actually supposed to wake me up

i wonder how much money i could save if i wasn’t a fucking idiot

can’t watch a movie because I should probably read a book instead but I can’t read a book because I should be sleeping but I also can’t sleep so instead I will mindlessly scroll hoping I eventually pass out without doing anything enjoyable or productive in the meantime