brandonbeck_2026_mix_use_this_one_final_final

THE FIRST TIME I TASTED SOMEBODY ELSE’S SPIT I HAD A COUGHING FIT

“girl fuck you” is gender neutral

@illustrevor It's Spalding Gray

There is a secret 3rd evil brother

ur job shouldn’t be ur first priority, that weird girl on twitter should be

Trailer for Matt Johnson’s TONY arriving tomorrow. (Note the summer release date, and the credits: music by Jay McCarrol, editing by NIRVANNA’s Curt Lobb and Robert Upchurch, with Johnson and longtime producer Matthew Miller also getting screenwriting credits.)

AAAAAAND THE WAITRESS IS PRACTICING POLITICS

oomf urgently called to inform us that his friend ate shit biking on the west side highway bike path and a man helped him up + asked if he was ok and when he looked up it was none other than mayor zohran mamdani on his citibike. closest you can get irl to being saved by spiderman

Hey, my boyfriend and I noticed you from across the bar and we were wondering if you have any Dyatlov Pass theories

I once hosted an open mic where everyone was being so fucking rude I told them I would trade all of their lives for 10 more minutes of Harris Wittles’.

said i didn’t feel good at work and both my coworkers went “awwww”

peggy jumping out of the battle bus

Someone called Dr. Pepper "BBQ Sprite" and i can’t stop thinking about it...

New way to make dead dogs just dropped

why are you guys scared to double text i literally send like 8 messages in a row

Theo Von: We had this one black dude in my neighborhood. We used to call him BLM Jim Toni Morrison: You do not understand how powerfully racist that is

why is this the most accurate description of hockey interviews i’ve ever read 😭

The final stage of grief is doing a master’s degree actually

imaginary friend

Job: “You have been selected for a random dr*g test.” Me: “?????”