hawt beverage

For the little bit of training I've been doing, I understand now why I have grown to love stunts: so much of it represents who I am as an individual. For example: I would much rather throw myself off of a building than ask someone out on a date.

There is nothing more humiliating than inviting people to your birthday party

My favorite piece of theatre is any dude on the cable lat pulldown machine

@scottwichmann Thank you Scott!!! It’s definitely surreal 😂

@hotbeveridge Nice job!!! That’s so awesome!

The weirdest flex that I now have is that I’ve dunked on Adam Driver 😤

oh hey thanks for liking my story. i didn't realize you were madly in love with me and constantly imagine us as a couple, going on little dates, eating snacks, and growing old together. but im flattered

me and the improv homies after the worst show we’ve ever done

another day of being that nonchalant white boy with childlike curiosity and a heart of gold i guess. Hmph

Nothing like going to Germany for a week and realizing like yeah, maybe cigarettes are kinda neat :)

Bois weekend at 28 is just a weekend of everyone trying not to shit their pants

Apparently it’s all Rammstein

Convincing myself that I can learn enough German for my Germany trip that’s in less than a month with a Spotify playlist called “German songs that actually slap”

I’m 3 years too late in discovering this, but I just figured out how to play Heat Waves on my practice chanter for the bagpipes, and I’ve missed out on the chance of being the most annoying person on the internet

I’m happy that I’m at a point in my life where I no longer need to pretend that I like Tame Impala

@glossyyam 100% 😭

@hotbeveridge Kehlani is mrs steal yo girl lol

Dating bi girls is fun and all until Kehlani shows up at the bar you’re at 😔

@glossyyam That’s EXACTLY how my date was, I didn’t stand a chance 😭

@hotbeveridge Hahaha it’s funny bc I would fold for her in a second

Y’know, I’m on a writer’s strike of my own (not writing tweets)

@fck_maddie It’s the schedule flexibility/only need a high school diploma is why it works so well 😤

@hotbeveridge It’s like 5 other people I know too 😂

If you were an aspiring actor in college, you’re a personal trainer now. Sorry I don’t make the rules

Now I understand why everyone in NYC is poly: everyone is beautiful here 😭