pumpkin cream muffin 🍯

BILLIONS WILL LOVE AND ASCEND 🗣️

charlie kirk: "bla bla something something gang violence I hate trans people and women" some guy with a rifle at UVU:

dropping acid and then getting onto Red Dead Redemption and just petting my horse and feeding it apples.

Discourse I just invented: glasses fetishism is problematic because eyeglasses are technically a disability aid

just found out horses have menstrual cycles. imagine pms’ing and you’re also a fucking horse

Probably the worst part of premodern literature is coming across lines like “Of course, everyone knows the tale of Borble, that hero of ancient days, so I shall not weary the reader by repeating it here*” * Editor’s note: no accounts of Borble have survived

me after watching anything because my critical thinking skills are shit

told my gf “if we ever brea-” and mid sentence she took out a gun and shot me 17 times and revived me and then shot me 17 more times

"why are you still posting on the nazi website?" unfortunately i live in the nazi country run by nazis

The German newspaper Die Zeit covered the hand, writing: "A Hitler Salute is a Hitler Salute is a Hitler Salute".

Every second that I’m not in bed I’m thinking about how badly I wanna be horizontal in bed and whenever I’m horizontal in bed I think yes I love being horizontal in my bed.

@uunicornicc that happened to mine once when i dropped it in beer, it was fixed when i replaced the tip completely with a new one!

my tablet pen keeps pressing when my pen is just hovering and ive done EVERY recommended thing and it just does not work. its brand new too. i could scream

"Oh my god did you see the latest poll? Pennsylvania is within the marg-" You bolt awake. The year is 1656. You summon a servant, sure of what must be done. You are Oliver Cromwell, Lord Protector of the Commonwealth. And William Penn must die.

@Boffyyyy pay off the cops

@Boffyyyy at least the sushi was good