iPaulTweeting

No time to die by @billieeilish is definitely the best @007 theme ever

We ought to have a ‘most up their own arse’ list. No one would have course got to be @realDonaldTrump but I’m keen to see who would make the rest of the o

@BoyGeorge @pophasreti He’s from Bradford, not sure that’s consequential. And I’m not sure consequential is the right word. I’m not sure about a lot of other things either.

@pophasreti He just wants to tease more people and I'm down for it!

Zayn Malik, biseksüel olduğunu açıkladı.

@JamesBlunt I like you. The haters are small people

Sorry. I just want to be liked.

@joolslala is this really Jools of hootenanny fame?

I can’t get over the feeling that I just don’t trust any of them. Politicians just seem to be concerned about power for themselves as opposed to what’s best for the majority. Trouble is what do you replace it with? Certainly not something based on the lords or anything religious.

I suggest we have to get rid of this Labour government before anything constructive can be achieved

Here’s an idea @virginmedia if the question your bots are asking have no relevance to the question you asked perhaps one of the options presented could be ‘talk to a human’? Also, although I’m not really that bothered that your support staff are not English please note that it does not aid understanding

@Dyson why is my piston animal saying it’s blocked when I’ve cleared everything and nothing is connected apart from the main unit. It’s just minutes away from the bin

@virginmedia @mobily_uk I know what you mean. Tried to order uhd three times, nothing. Managed somehow to get through to a person as opposed to the bot and asked them, nothing. Had emails saying my bill was going from £124 to £224, no idea why. Unbelievable.

@mobily_uk Hi James Turpin, Please send us a private message and we can investigate this further for you 😀

Hey @virginmedia why do we have to do this dance every year? £66 per month increasing to £148?? I cancel, you offer me a similar deal to what I had and we move on. Why not just offer it up front? None of this pretend nonsense!

I’m heartily sick of bots. Hope you are listening #virginmedia and #Duyson

I’m never buying a Dyson again I’ve got their most expensive vacuum cleaner and it’s always blocked. I’ve almost taken everything apart and it’s still saying it’s blocked 🤬

Just watched the Claudia Winkleman show, laughed my tits off

@MrNickKnowles @JonnyRoot_ It was a fabulous watch. Fair play to Rory. What a player and boo to the neigh sayers, save your negativity for those who deserve it (insert picture of the new ‘Jesus’).

@JonnyRoot_ Of course you’d have to win it first to have that advantage and any of them could have kissed those tournaments and concentrate on the Masters but didn’t - sounds a little like sour grapes Couldn’t you just celebrate an amazing sporting achievement?

Maybe getting the opportunity to play Augusta National unlimited times the month leading into The Masters, while skipping three straight tournaments, gave Rory McIlroy an unfair advantage over the other competitors… Just maybe. Congrats, or whatever.

The @ClaudiaWinkle show is brilliant don’t give into any neigh sayers

Why is everything we buy poorly made Chinese tech

What’s the worst sport to watch. Golf must be up there, maybe cycling?

@afneil If our prices are locked into a global pricing system how does owning our own oil and gas make it possible to defend against situations like we are experiencing now

So producing your own oil and gas does nothing for energy security. I see. If that’s true of Britain it must be true of other fossil fuel producers too. But of course it isn’t.

This NatWest DigiDocs process is so bad, asking for documentation but completely unclear what. Repeated requests for more and finishes with a survey request with selections that don’t work 🤬

@bbclaurak didn’t anyone notice that the Chinese attacked in Pakistan were there to build 2 coal power stations. Bit pointless spending billions on carbon capture when they are doing this all over the world

@BBCNewsnight never mind debating 40% or 50% why aren’t people serving what they have been sentenced to by the judges?