Ilana Smith

Our security product lead @iLanas recently sat down with Silicon Republic for their Career Close-up series with @IDAIRELAND to share her career journey as an engineer @Microsoft & how she’s helping to shape our Secure Future Initiative.

He was the worst President in history. And when he got voted out, he tried to stage a coup. Then he stole national secrets and sold the ones he didn't store in the bathroom. He was convicted of fraud, found liable of sexual assault and convicted of 34 felonies. He is half a billion dollars in debt, owned by God only knows who, and the biggest national security risk the nation has ever had. But at least he's not a Black woman.

A wonderful vote of confidence in what we’ve created in our Microsoft Ireland community.

Unexpectedly utilised a new swear-word-replacement when driving with the kids yesterday. “Oh, nice indication, you…former president.”

@VodafoneIreland I don’t need assistance. My issue was resolved by a manager. Your staff need re-training so they’re not making your customers unsafe. Canned responses don’t give me confidence that will occur.

@ilanas Hi Ilana, If you need any assistance, we're available Via DMs. Thanks, Yugien

I went into a @VodafoneIreland store today to get help with a malfunctioning SIM. When I wouldn’t let him take my UNLOCKED phone out of my sight, the store employee chucked a tantrum and refused to help me. Vodafone: is it your policy to foster unsafe digital security practices?

@VodafoneIreland Hi Yugien - thank you for the canned response irrelevant to my stated issue. Please escalate this major problem appropriately. You’re making your customers less safe.

@ilanas Hi Ilana, Please accept my sincere apologies for any inconvenience. Kindly DM us with your query, we will do our best to assist. Thanks, Yugien

(Luckily the store manager was amazing and she solved my problem in my full sight. Retraining opportunity?)

First listen of Tortured Poets Department: “All these songs sound the same.” Fifth listen of Tortured Poets Department: “All these songs sound the same.” Twentieth listen of Tortured Poets Department: “I WAS TAME I WAS GENTLE TIL THE CIRCUS LIFE MADE ME MEAN…”

Are the lambs still screaming, Clarice?

I don’t usually eat breakfast but I’ve had Vegemite on toast the last three mornings and it’s really so delicious that I’m freshly sad for anyone who isn’t Australian.

@theminihaha @RobLooseCannon Pretty sure @RobLooseCannon did a previous thread about Leopardstown originally being Lepers Town so…small mercies.

@RobLooseCannon Ah go way outta that.. You'll be telling me next there's no Dolphins in Dolphins barn, or Leopards walking round Leopardstown

Did you know that Dublin Bay prawns dont come from Dublin Bay and aren't really even prawns? "True" prawns, the hipsters of the aquatic crustacean family, have transparent soft shells. The "Dublin Bay" prawns are more like mini lobsters with a hard pink shell, which they shed as they grow, and they've prominent claws, walk on the balls of their feet and wear Canada Goose jackets. And these immigrants are not even from Dublin Bay! Their real name is Nephrops Norvegicus or the Norwegian langoustine, first classified in 1758 by zoologist Carl Linnaeus. Our Italians cousins call them 'scampi' whilst doing a chef kiss probably. Strictly speaking, you can use the French term "langoustine" to describe them, which kind of means "mini lobster." You can also use this term to describe skinny fake-tan-smothered hunzos with gigantic acrylic clawlike false nails. They're fished in the Irish Sea north of Lambay Island and near Scotland, also in the Atlantic Ocean. The prawns, not the hunzos. Dublin Bay contains too much sediment and pollution for a suitable habitat. If only they could live off cigarette buts, empty beer cans, and shopping trolleys! So why the Dublin Bay name? Our fair city is where they first became popular, big unwanted hauls of the weird delicious lobsterettes lads caught elsewhere were landed here in Dublin port then sold by street traders. They weren't exactly legal (not ‘above board’) so the fishing crew would off-loaded them whilst still at sea in Dublin Bay to smaller boats, which sold them on shore. Hence, Dublin Bay Prawns!

Hey @TMobile, I got both of these messages at the same time last week from two different messages. Help a traveler out.

Gussied up for an event at work Me, thinking I’m rocking the Elizabeth Warren Formal My kid: “Why do you look like cabin crew?”

Bit late to give advice.

My 10yo (accurately) accused my 7yo of weaponised incompetence, so I’m all done here as a parent.

When you get played by the puzzle theme

If you’re looking for people to block, any commenters supporting this is a good place to start. Kids disclose to adults when they feel it is safe to do so.

@sbisson I think I needed the characters to be more interesting or more funny to carry the lack of plot and tension.

@sbisson I struggled with Legends and Lattes. I get the whole cosy fantasy thing but I thought it was….boring?