Invisible Infinity

@FedEx Please check YOUR dms to see how unequivocally WRONG you were.

@invisible076 Please DM to properly address your concern. Thank you.

Thanks @FedEx! Once again my package was delivered to the wrong house. It’s not the normal place you leave it, so this is really amazing this time. Your chat people are no help either. The told me only the shipped can open a claim. Well…it’s Temu so I guess I’m fucked because

@FedEx I did. 30 minutes ago.

@FedEx I sent it.

@invisible076 Hello, this is Hermie. I apologize and I understand your concern. I'm here to assist you. Kindly send us a direct message with your full name, tracking number, complete delivery address, phone number, and email address. twitter.com/messages/compo…

They aren’t any help either. So not only have I learned that I shouldn’t buy from Temu, but I’m out the money I spent. 10/10 your drivers don’t know their ass from their elbow.

@FedExHelp way to go!! Your vindictive driver took my package to my neighbor AGAIN. She knows better because she almost lost her job over it, she’s just doing it out of spite. WTF

I’d ask for decaf coffee. This is a long-standing order for my friends. If I order decaf, I have been kidnapped.

@damianh @EMadisen @DrJenLincoln @fedorasharkk Found it on r/facepalm *and* Facebook.

No one will know you’ve had an abortion unless you tell them (as long as you don’t use medications vaginally that could be seen on a pelvic exam). *pass it on, tell a friend.

once i’m detached, that’s it.. u will never get the same version of me. ever.

@JoshuaSteinman Just because I *can* connect my thermostat to my WiFi doesn’t mean I *have*. None of my appliances have Bluetooth, and the nice lady at Lowe’s looked at me like I had a second head when I was buying new appliances for my new house and wanted 0 smart ones.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but: STOP CONNECTING COMPUTERS TO PERFECTLY FUNCTIONAL MECHANICAL HOUSEHOLD OBJECTS

Weather app: Get your umbrella ready! Rain starting in 15 minutes! 2 seconds later… Rain pounding the shit out of my skylights and a clap of thunder that scares my cat. Time for a nap, I think. 😴

@yardsalecat1 @aprilajoyr If unicorns aren’t real…how are they the national animal of Scotland?

@aprilajoyr She's been sniffing MTG's farts Some things that don't exist God Devil Heaven Hell Angels Demons Ghosts Spirits Witches (unless you've met my grandmother) Warlocks Genies Vampires Werewolves Leprechauns Fairies Gremlins Elves Gnomes Unicorns Kraken Yeti Zombies Curses Bigfoot

This Christian influencer says masturbation is witchcraft and creates generational curses that will "literally bleed into your future children's life." I don't miss these pentecostal circles at all. So much needless shame 😭

@elizabex @scib0rg @aprilajoyr 4-1-3-5-2-4

@scib0rg @aprilajoyr All I can think about is the thing going that asked how you draw your stars. I do 5-2-4-1-3

@Tkfollowme @FedEx Same here. If I have to pay double the cost to use @UPS I will take the option every time. They left my package in the middle of my YARD.

I ain't never using @FedEx again

@JerasIkehorn No, I’m just worried that I’m not flexible enough to put my head between my knees to kiss my ass goodbye when the time comes.

My therapist agrees with this statement. Perhaps someday.

Not sure any fucks are given: procrastinating on a class because instructors won’t accept real world answers to a made up problem. MASTERS PROGRAM. Why are you doing this? WHY. W H Y.

My favorite color!

time to forgive yourself. you’re not that person anymore