irving george

big money

today scientists estimate there are over 200

I'm literally Spongebob.

According to my driving teacher, our lessons were terminated because I didn't like his sense of humor which is odd because I didn't pay to hear his fucking hour. I wanted answers to road test questions. I'm not the Abbot to your fucking Costello.

Is the point of a driving lesson someone barks at you until you achieve nirvana?

Do driving instructors just bark at you the whole time is that common? I have no twitter followers I am throwing an envelope into the mouth of an active volcano.

Took a sleeping pill last night and I can't be sure if I've woken up yet. I spun a top three hours ago and that shit is still spinning.

Just handled a social situation poorly

As a life coach, the one thing I tell my clients over and over: you’re not getting your money back.

@AlHendiify What’s funny is that before this we were ALREADY subsidizing private contractors to the tune of 200 million to effectively do NOTHING.

30 million dollars is worth ensuring that the surrounding families can eat. Nothing you say can move me from this position.

Dude behind me at lunch ordered “The usual.” Got hit back with a “and that would be?” Has to be absolutely devastating. Can’t even imagine.

Home base to Eagle eye. Take the shot.

My animation and editing programs can tell when I am frustrated and crash more frequently as a result. We are binded like the Na'vi.

Wait, did you even say thank you?

Imagine being a Soviet spy as the USSR dissolved. Like, I guess I just work for the United States' State Department for real now?

@catgirlism5 There is historical precedent to the idea that this is the chuddite orientation of the NYC street view.

There is historical precedent to the idea that this is the chuddite orientation of the NYC street view.

big fan of this one

You may have a worst enemy but that does not mean that you are their worst enemy. You may think because you devised your best contraption yet that you will be at their final showdown but honey that's not always the case.

It's New Year's Eve not New Year's Steve.