brae

Hey

Why does festival weed always smell like that

"Men only want one thing and its disgusting" Then wash it

There is zero reason you need to bring your golden doodle into Trader Joe’s

its the desert biome man. we got curved swords and beetles and shit. sitar going absolutely buckwild on the soundtrack. maybe a giant worm. fuckin love the desert

@jainormis thats when you run off on em

the plug didn’t say i love you back 💔

I'm hitting g-forces on this forklift that would make a fighter pilot fucking shit himself*

I says to him I says

this meeting could’ve been a picture of your feet

yall be eating hot dogs for the shape or the flavor

Starting a feet chiropractor business

There are people out there

Biscuits and gravy is so sick it’s literally just wet slop flour on top of cooked dry flour and it’s so fucking good still

the mold growing in my water bottle said you would say that

open up that Gryffindor and let me Slytherin that Hufflepuff

Publisher: So you've given us a book about a big friendly giant, one about an enormous crocodile, and another where a granny grows as big as a house. What's new? Roald Dahl: There's this peach... Publisher: Is it - Roald Dahl: It's fucking huge

When you have a friend

Medicare wont cover my big fat nuts because apparently its a "pre-existing condition"

dude i had a dream last night i was going clubbing with @TPAIN and the bouncers made us Krump to get in.

hamburger help us

don’t be like that your honor