Vacuum Solo

@WeLuvVexx Someone made the photo worse.

This child was suspended after telling his teacher that her breath smells like “Hippo Shit”

@Elle_Chantel Glad I never got into that one for sure. I feel guilty when I buy a Powerball ticket.

Since the offset thing happened, I’ve been looking into gambling addiction, just out of curiosity and it is honestly one of the top worst ones to have with the highest suicide rates. So to see all of these gambling apps, marketed to youth is kind of crazy

Our president fired all the people who could hold insider traders accountable because he is insider trading.

@CapeHomepage That’s lame. I had no idea those chips were actually from Cape Cod though. I’ve seen them places but I live in Utz town and Martins is nearby too so I never tried them. Always stuck to local brand.

After 45 years, it's closing month for #CapeCod Potato Chips in Hyannis. 🥔 The factory is closing the doors for good, and operations are moving off-Cape.

Wow. Thats pretty wild. And the basketball team is bad but they still profit. Wrestling is a literal dynasty and loses money.

@robertsietsema My dog loves to shit on the curb. Hangs halfway in the street to do it. Idk why. Didn’t train her to do that.

Finally, a scholarly explanation!

Fucking lovely job fellow humans. If we don’t stop killing everything, we will die too. Can’t see the path we’re on?

Agreed. It’s been shitty.

@Mattisamazing33 Of course I stayed. Held on to her as long as I could. Miss her all the time. It was hard to leave her even after she was gone.

As if you couldn’t hate the BBC any more…

@QuantumAlteredX To cover the lawsuits.

Crazy that it cost 400% more to not do anything to it.

@middleageriot It’s been so humiliating for anyone who actually has a brain.

Donald Trump is not a political genius or a genius of any kind. He ran for president out of pure narcissism and accidentally tapped into a thick, rich vein of American stupid.

We bought an orthopedic bed for our golden retriever because the vet said he has sensitive joints. It cost $250 and is made of the same memory foam astronauts sleep on. He won't step foot on it. Instead, he sleeps on a flattened cardboard box that used to hold a toaster oven. If I move the box, he paces the hallway crying like he lost his life savings. I tried putting the box on top of the bed. He pulled the box off the bed, dragged it into the bathroom, and slept next to the toilet. We currently have a $250 astronaut mattress sitting empty in our living room. My mother-in-law visited and asked if she could sleep on it. I said yes and she gave it 4 stars.

@TukiFromKL It was that zip, Furio.

Incase you missed it.. someone stole 12 tons of KitKat bars off a truck in Italy.. 414,000 bars.. just vanished.. the truck was heading to Poland and it never arrived.. Nestlé confirmed it wasn't a stunt.. someone genuinely pulled off a chocolate heist worth hundreds of thousands of dollars.. and nobody got caught.. so now KitKat trucks in Canada are rolling with full presidential-level security.. four black SUVs.. red flags.. like they're transporting nuclear codes.. the chocolate is still missing.. Nestlé launched a "Stolen KitKat Tracker" so you can check if your bar came from the stolen batch.. and the marketing team turned the biggest L of the quarter into the most viral campaign of the year.. someone in Nestlé's boardroom looked at a $500K loss and said "this is the ad budget".. and honestly.. it worked better than anything they could've planned

Our president is so embarrassing. Just absolutely manages to humiliate us at every turn.

@VeryBadLlama Ha ha. I didn’t tho. I didn’t want Crazy Arson Jim. I swear. I like stability.

I didn't vote to burn my house down. I just voted to pour gasoline all over everything I own and then handed the keys to Crazy Arson Jim. I thought it would be funny to watch the fumes bother the guy next door, how was I supposed to know this would happen?

@chrismobuckeye @unlimited_ls Ok. I was wondering. That makes more sense.

@jackbripplebrap @unlimited_ls She was not SA, but the guy is a perv. Look at his history. Hitting with his truck was just a cover story/excuse most likely.

BREAKING: Horrifying photo shows 7-year-old Athena Strand being driven to her death after a FedEx driver abducted and strangled her while delivering her Christmas present Tanner Horner, 34, pleaded guilty to capital murder in the killing of Athena Strand just before his trial began A newly shown photo places Athena alive in his truck on the day she was killed Prosecutors say Horner abducted her while delivering a package to her home in November 2022 Athena’s body was found two days later The case now moves to the punishment phase, where a jury will decide between the death penalty or life in prison without parole

Picked poor Robin clean by James Cook

@atrupar I’m not with him any part of the way.

Trump on speaker phone at the Orban rally: "I just want to tell you I'm a big fan of Viktor, I'm with him all the way. The United States is with him all the way."

Without bees, we’ll lose at least one-third of the food we eat. They pollinate 66% of the world’s crops.