New Jacob

The 19-year-olds who attend my favorite university didn’t score enough touchdowns today so I’m blacked out, facedown in the driveway. My wife is crying, begging me to come inside & sing Happy Birthday to my son. “Please just reverse the Rav4” I whisper into the concrete.

@vicwingly @aidencalvin

tournament organizers when matches go according to seeding

Ja'Marr Chase has some suggestion for the script writers. ✍️ #YouCantMakeThisStuffUp @Real10jayy__ | @Bengals

Kentucky has secured the spot as the top electric vehicle battery producer in the United States. In the past few months, we've announced more than $8.5 billion in investment and more than 8,000 jobs in the EV sector. Kentuckians will literally be powering the future.

@acanofmrpibb I’m pretty sure they’re the exact same word

Rand Paul just announced that he opposes the PACT Act because veterans cannot prove they got health issues while serving in combat. He is absolutely shameful, and has made a mockery of the office he occupies. I will defeat him.

Here’s how Dems can + must do more than wait for an election. Let’s start w/ why: - 7 of the 9 justices were appointed by a party that hasn’t won a popular vote more than once in 30 years - 1 of those seats was stolen - Several lied to Congress to secure their appointment…

incredible stuff

@acanofmrpibb Bro just start using water bottles at this rate

For the first time, the new edition of #ASCE 7-22 includes a chapter dedicated to #tornado loads, offering design criteria to defend buildings in at-risk areas from tornadic winds measuring up to about 135 mph. Learn more: bit.ly/33o7pnv.

@InfectedEzio I refuse to believe you got this one in two tries

Wordle 240 2/6 🟩⬛🟨⬛🟨 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 😤😤😤

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (逆転裁判 蘇る逆転) - Capcom - GBA & DS - 2001/2005

@exocietyHQ @Shark_E_Art @iamRav @iamkillbill @iamScuare @airospvce See you in Detroit @iamkillbill @iamRav @iamScuare @airospvce 🔥🔥🔥

WE’RE GOING ON THE FIRST EVER EXO NORTH AMERICAN TOUR, THE OUT OF THE WOODS TOUR!! EXOCIETY.NET/TOUR WE CAN’T WAIT TO FUCKING SEE Y’ALL. EXO 👺🌲 Poster art by @Shark_E_Art

@imbenbeal If you come to Louisville I might be able to get a parent’s signature to come to your show 👉🏻👈🏻

this tweet will always be relevant

2 states away, we’re getting there

@tthattrevor Me and the homies when we find out you don’t wear a seatbelt