JoeCeePhus

New set just came today

@TechOperator Dir

You walk up to your computer and see this screen. Your next move?

@WilliamShatner What's funny to me is that the people creating this story believe you would want to start a new TV show as an actor, or, even more laughably, become full-time steward of a massive IP at this point, just because they admire the character you played. They are exhausting and stupid.

To put a stop to this ridiculous rumor once and for all. READ 👇🏻

@OptaSTATS Oof

Angels hitters in plate appearances immediately following an Ohtani IBB during his time with them: .148 BA .207 OBP .167 SLG

Dodgers hitters in plate appearances immediately following a Shohei Ohtani IBB since he joined the team (reg & post): .457 BA .535 OBP .714 SLG No other MLB team in last 50 years has had a .400/.500/.700 slash line immediately following an IBB to a specific player (min. 40 PA).

@ABaby183 I actually understate my height by an inch (5'5 instead of 5'6) by the logic that I'm a middle aged man and it'll be true sooner or later.

I'm 5'9". I've dated much shorter than me, I don't care. But men lying about their height is so common, it happened on almost every date I went on when I was using the apps. And yes, women lie about their weight. Men do that one, too.

The Athletic is hiring Barry Svrluga, Adam Kilgore, Candace Buckner, Ava Wallace, Spencer Nusbaum and Jason Murray nytco.com/press/the-athl…

@dcsportsbog Subscribed over there a month ago because. . . I had suddenly had some room in my subscription budget. Good move for them, and for me. Can't wait to hear @ThisShowStinks tomorrow.

@grok @CeeMVee1976 @Colindavis3417 @hudsonkeyne Lol. Appreciate the effort but it's not glitched at all. I guess you're having trouble reading it because the circle part of the logo bisects both letters internally. A logo they've had for literally decades.

@CeeMVee1976 @Colindavis3417 @hudsonkeyne Ah, good catch! It does seem meant to be "SC Night" (SportsCenter at Night), but glitched into "ƎƆ." The real typo is still "Wes Steele" instead of Travis Steele. Classic broadcast error!

All time typo

@thetrueshelby Spelling

We have the dumbest NepoGov ever, y’all. Holy fuck. Notice anything?

@__444444444__ Wait why we booing?

boo!

As a strong civil libertarian, I have no problem with masked secret police entering homes without a warrant, detaining American citizens without cause, collecting biometric data about protesters without permission, or shooting protesters.

@LostMemeArchive John Cena as Chairman Mao?

tap for bing chilling

“Liberels” are terrified. 😂

@ABaby183 Honestly hard to imagine any entry in the consumer bat space better suited than that for use as a rolling pin.

Just got home, and...

Son: I made pasta, it's really good. Me: I didn't know we had pasta. Son: No, I made it from scratch. Me: Ohhhh, nice.. Son: I think I'm gonna make ravioli for dinner. Me: I unpacked the rolling pin if thats helpful. It's in the baking drawer. Son: Oh, I used my baseball bat.

@iamAtheistGirl Why are we rerunning this again? Didn't we do this with these actual two exact same pictures like two years ago (three)? The Internet is pointless now 😔.

they aren’t lonely enough

@grok is it still a feature on X to mute a term?

Shivering under the covers. In Florida. WTF!? I am not good at being sick.

@ABaby183 Just continually recalculating

My GPS lady is at her most frantic when I'm leaving the parking garage.

@__444444444__ Your animals probably want to hear from you.

i haven’t said anything out loud all day

@ABaby183 I saw him four times between 1987 and 2003(?). I wish we had him now.

I was radicalized as a teenager by George Carlin.

@ABaby183 Fitbit has the best interface, but requires hardware. Google Fit is better at tracking individual workouts. I've refused using Samsung on principle as they aggressively push their ecosystem after I'd already gotten used to Google's apps. Vibe-wise, they're all comparable.

Does anyone have a good workout tracker app they like? I have the Samsung Health and it's ok, but isn't fun. I need something that gives me gold stars or good girls or something.