jay michael 🇺🇸

I Should Have Known Better But Got Distracted. A humorous, true and uninspiring story of what can go wrong when you least 'inspect' it. lifegetstricky.com/i-should-have-… via @jaymo7951

@Daytobehappy Well, let's hear them, "Death to America" now 😅

When FAFO literally blows up in your face!

How do you say "goodbye" to an abusive person you are actively in a relationship with? I need to know what to say to X because X and its shitty algorithm is currently like being in an abusive relationship and I'm tired of it.

@TheMarcitect Fewer people = less carbon footprints

Saving the planet from climate change has a new look.

@MarioNawfal No, it is fine. It needs to happen to finally cull the weak. They inherited the Earth now it's time for them to give it back

This is the closest the world has been to WW3, and everyone seems fine with it That's terrifying

@Donutsandwich1 Look, I'm retarded so, the last thing I need is for this world to start throwing more retarded shit at me like it's going to cancel out my retard. Nah, that's not how it works. It actually makes me exponentially more retarded.

gm to everyone who knows daylight savings time changes are retarded

@catturd2 Twice a year my wife asks me to explain how the time change will effect her the next day, "So tomorrow, the time will be one hour different than what the time is now? So if I have an 8 o' clock appointment and I don't change my clocks am I going to be early or late?" Me: "Yes!"

Are you enjoying the time change? I'm not.

@CNN CNN admits Trump's policies are working. How big of you.

The most recent Major Cities Chiefs Association survey – made up of preliminary statistics compiled from 67 law enforcement agencies in the US and Canada – shows homicides dropped about 19% last year compared with the year prior. cnn.it/46PFxX3

@OliLondonTV Which is which, I can't tell 🫩

This is Hollywood actress Naomi Watts with her Transgender son…

@RyanAFournier 'Merica! 👈😉👉🇺🇸 There's nothing accidental about being an idiot, it takes effort. Maximum effort, maximum payback.

🚨BREAKING: You literally cannot write a better script than this! 🤣 An anti-ICE rioter out in Portland just accidentally lit THEMSELVES on fire while trying to burn the American Flag. 🔥🤡

Things that keep me up all night: If I went back in time My present would be my past My past would be my present My past would be my future My future would be my past And now I can't unthink it 🫩

Got my new coloring book today. If I can keep myself from eating all the crayons I can get to coloring.

@HD_Sean Yeah, the jeans

@jaymo7951 Yeah, the jeans are good too 😘

Morning Seems like everyone is posting sock/feet pics lately Trying the trend I guess

@cwchris_ 5'6-1/4" on a good day. Yes that 1/4" is very important 😅

5’4 🫶🏼

@KylerofthePNW I love the dramatic change in daylight, both in fall and spring but fuck! I have 30 clocks in my house, I run around and set them ALL for the same time so they're ALL a minute off from each other and there's a thirty minute time change from one side of my house to the other 🙄

Unpopular opinion: I actually love Daylight Saving Time. I don't understand the hatred for it. Remember to set your clocks ahead tonight most of America.

@FoxNews 🤔 pretty sure he indicated that by the end of this year Americans won't need a visa to go to Cuba. Cuba's high command is living in a bunker starting yesterday.

PRESIDENT TRUMP: “Cuba's at the end of the line.” “They have a bad regime that's been bad for a long time.”

@FoxNews He was likely looking for advice on what to do to avoid getting all blown up

LIVE UPDATES: Putin called Iranian president to offer condolences over US-Israeli strikes, urge end of hostilities READ MORE: foxnews.com/live-news/us-i…

Hey guys! I did my own taxes last night and I realized: 1) Trump is the greatest President of all time! OR 2) I'm going to prison OR, OR 3) Very likely, BOTH If this is the last you hear from me, I'll be busy picking soap up off the shower floor.

@rickydigital And now I'm a big fan of whatever that sport is

Oh