Megrim

No. I can detach my thumb and then reattach it

fucked up that we have like 59 avengers movies and not a single Muppets version of James Bond

Underrated woke!Pete Campbell moment: Roger: This Selma thing is not going away. [Looks at Cooper] You still don't think they need a civil rights law? Cooper: They got what they wanted. Why aren't they happy? Pete: Because Lassie stays at the Waldorf and they can't.

@kyylien As much rest as you can! Electrolyte drinks all day exc tea (try to find a ginger/tumeric) and coffee (only one). You can only absorb so much vit C so upping vitamins is a waste. Have lots of leafy greens, smoothies are great (spinach, kale, ginger, pineapple is my go-to). 🤞

Alright chat. I’m sick as hell. My best friend gets married on Friday. SEND ANY AND ALL ADVICE 😭

@CD_stiel I imagine Helen as a gay icon.

"homer described helen as this or that" homer didn't describe women 😭😭he used to say something like "she had lustrous hair" and then proceed to rant for 20 lines about Odysseus's enormous thighs 😭😭this guy was gay as hell

@Osinttechnical Predicted by Gary Larson:

@JDVance they’re calling you the worst catholic since Martin Luther

@kneechimne14145 @Mbakaza4L 🙄

@Mbakaza4L he's lying again. remember that when the time comes. there are no "good ones" they all know the talmud. it's fun in a morbid way to get them to pretend to not know about it.

Seth Rogen: "As a Jewish person I was fed a huge amount of lies about Israel my entire life. They never tell you there were people there. They make it seem like it was just sitting there empty like oh the door's open! I would never live in Israel. It doesn't make any sense to me"

i cannot believe libs got catholicism in the national divorce

do you know how freezing cold of a take you have to have for every fanbase in the nhl to defend the philadelphia flyers

@RosaWWEFan123 @JoyceCarolOates 🙄

@JoyceCarolOates No. He's the antichrist

this pope is so popular, even former/"lapsed" Catholics are proud of him!

I am prepared to contribute monthly donations and leverage all of my influence and 75K followers across platforms to elect an unapologetically pro-sea lion challenger for Washington’s 3rd district seat. I want this blue dog demon gone.

„Sie sagten, der Papst kenne die Bibel nicht, und dann zitierten sie Pulp Fiction.“🤣

@Jane_Doe82 circa 2023!! these ahistorical fools

This part.

Today I learned that Boudicca’s burning of London after her daughters were raped was so severe that there is a blackened scorched layer under London today which archaeologists named the 'Boudican Destruction Horizon'

They should change the name to "Strait of Schrödinger". It's both open and closed at the same time.

Liza Minnelli has outlived Caitlyn Jenner’s Republican Party delusions. Because of a Trump-issued anti-trans passport policy, Kris Jenner’s ex-husband is restricted from traveling internationally.

having an existential crisis

I’m aging out of the bracket where my death gets called “tragic” and into the one where it’s just “early”

@notcapnamerica And still it was an improvement over watching Skinemax through the wavy static you got without a subscription. Did you sometimes get a glimpse of something suggestive? Sure. Were you always at risk for an epileptic seizure? Yes.

Sitting there watching the screen buffering for 30 minutes just for a 5 minute porn clip!!?? Hoping my parents didn't come downstairs in the meantime.