Jennifer

I love and appreciate my husband. ❤️

@byu_homer x.com/jennofthewest/…

@jennofthewest enjoy the cognitive dissonance.

You've descended into insults, which isn't productive to a conversation. You seem very emotional about this topic and it's probably best to move along. I'll just end with, there's a best way to family. Exceptions exist bc we aren't perfect, not bc the exceptions are better.

@byu_homer x.com/jennofthewest/…

@jennofthewest So you are claiming that saying “they are about to make a huge mistake” means you think nothing of them, and have no issue with them. Laughable. Go gaslight someone else. If you aren’t mature enough to own up to your own opinions by masking them, that’s on you.

What level of delusion are we on, fam?

@byu_homer I've made my opinions abundantly clear. I've explained it, QT other's longer takes on it, we've gone back and forth. At this point, if you don't get it, I can't help you.

@jennofthewest At this point at least just take ownership of your own opinions. You have a problem with the way that couple is living, and the fact the church promoted it. Just own it. Don’t try to pretend it’s anything else

@byu_homer Dude, time to get past it.

@jennofthewest You can make all the excuses for taking issue with that post that you want, but it doesn’t change the fact that you did, in fact, take issue on a harmless post about a faithful couple from the church’s official account.

@meatypepper Right?? I made sure to say multiple times that I was sure she was going to be an amazing mom. But yeah, she just couldn't get past the disconnect there.

10000% total case of a woman hearing a reality she doesn't want to accept bc it makes her feel bad. Like literally the fact is as a SAHM (scientifically!! if you will) you end up spending MORE hours per day with your child than one would with hers whos in daycare as much as described. Thats a literal fact! There is no getting around it! But her mind cannot accept it bc the reality would make her feel like a bad mom. Even tho based on what you've explained no one said she was! We're just doing basic math!

I had an argument once on a mommy message board about whether or not a baby in daycare for 12 hours a day/ 5 days a wk got the same amount of attention from mom as one at home with a SAHM. I felt like I was taking crazy pills. Yes, this is related to the recent controversy.

@ChamoisWowois I should say, left wing political advocacy at church

@ChamoisWowois I can't tell you how many women we've lost in our ward. So many that I've known for years and years. Their husbands still attend but they've left. Pattern seems to be 1) politics 2) calling in YW 3) inactivity And they're not neutral about it. Very anti.

In an effort to make these people feel welcome, we're going to turn away these other people. Odd strategy.

@JenOliverQC And that's really why some of my fellow saints feel safe in suggesting I leave. They know I won't yet they wish I would.

@jennofthewest The other people won’t leave because they are largely converted like the apostles of old. To where would [they] go?

@esp3rtamente It's true. Also, what I've noticed is "we want to appeal to the exception crowd" is quick suggest that ppl like myself ought to be kicked out entirely.

@jennofthewest Being “seeker sensitive” fundamentally misunderstands what the seeker is seeking.

@JenOliverQC @CaitlinJustini @JReubenCIark Unfortunately, I think they don't view staying home and being a mother as important and fulfilling on its own.

@jennofthewest @CaitlinJustini @JReubenCIark Yes. But why frame it as I can’t be me without a career?

If you're wondering why so many ppl were mad about something as innocent as a guy putting his wife through med school, you are missing the point. Like discovering the black monolith on the moon in "2001" and saying, "what's the big deal? Never seen a black rectangle before?" This guy wasn't chosen at random by drawing every digit of his church record number like it's the Powerball. He was put here on purpose by an unseen intelligence, like the monolith. Someone decided, rather than highlight one of the much more numerous LDS wives who supported their husbands through a professional education, they wanted to highlight this particular kind of situation. And who was this person that decided? President Oaks? Obviously not. It was someone in a Church marketing office. And probably not someone even particularly high up. The point of mentioning this is not to denigrate or discredit them, but to help understand why they did this. I'll be honest with you; in my LDS group chats it's been a running joke for *years* now that the church social media people simply cannot help but try to highlight anyone who is not a "typical" Latter-day Saint. Gays, refugees, disabled ppl, single hipster women in Brooklyn that don't need no man and only attend church sporadically, etc. We often wondered when they were going to actually profile someone you might actually meet at an LDS chapel on a typical sunday: a white middle to upper middle class professional man who votes republican and has 4+ kids who were raised, at least when they were little, by a SAHM. And when I saw someone retweet this, I was so amazed to a see a normal-looking white guy married to a woman that I didn't even read the whole caption before copying it to post in the GC to share my amazement. But *of course* there was a catch. I'm not saying this bc I'm upset at not being "represented," but when the image that the marketers choose to package the Church in is *defined* by church members who live "outside the box," it's easy to forget why the box exists at all; that there was ever a reason in the first place why things like "Mom works outside the home to support the family" were discouraged by generations of Church leaders, including the present generation. One of my friends compared this to depicting a church member who drinks alcohol bc they're "different." I don't think that's quite right; unlike w alcohol, there is no bright-line sin being committed here, we all understand that sometimes circumstances warrant women working out of the home. But herein is the ax that I am constantly grinding: There is more to work of the Kingdom than not sinning. Just because something is "not a sin" doesn't mean that it was right to single it out for praise with the imprimatur of the Church behind it. And to say that this kind of marketing is counterproductive is not to condemn the poor guy in the picture. This is how Mormies get got; they see something so mildly subversive that to be offended at it makes one look unreasonable. So at most they grumble as official Church communication channels are used to promote our Glorious Girlboss Future. They only get exercised to the point of speaking out when some uppity rw edgelords dare to question The Lord's Twitter Account. I'd even go so far as to say that the aspiring girlbosses in the marketing department are themselves more subverted than subverters. They're not trying to tear anything down, this kind of thing is just the air they breathe. "Of COURSE we highlighted the progressive young man who supports his hardworking wife, he deserves praise for Breaking the Mold, are you closed-minded or something?" Personally I found it more boringly conformist than it is outrageous, but this is just a sign of my decadent old age. It is for younger, more energetic and idealistic men than I to bully some poor social media intern in SLC into shutting off twitter replies. Godspeed.

@JenOliverQC @CaitlinJustini @JReubenCIark I can at least appreciate the honesty.

@CaitlinJustini @JReubenCIark @jennofthewest Sheesh just come out and say “I can’t stand being home all day.”

In one of her books Dr. Laura went through the real data on childcare. It showed for young children at most the should be away from mom is about 12 hours a week. Jordan Peterson recently said children 3 and under should be with mom. Attachment to mom is super important in young kids. Daycare is worst option. Kids should be with mom or dad, and the next step down would be grandparents. Strangers are the absolute bottom.

@extradeadjcb Exactly. While I may disagree with them, I'm understanding of how hard it must be to have the church's teaching go against something you feel strongly to be true.

@jennofthewest Yeah I've never heard of anybody getting so twisted up about marginal tax rates that they apostatized It's always fundamentally spiritual questions that happen to have become political

Yes, "politics" has largely consumed religious belief in the West - because all the beliefs & values that we once held in uncomplicated ways are being publicly challenged That's all politics is, that's all it means

Why else chair exist?

@CaitlinJustini Convenient that the exception always seems to align with the values and expectations of the world. What are the odds?

If/when we desire/expect to be the exception to the rule, how do we easily hear what the right answer for us is? Is it possible to predispose ourselves to be the exception and then hear otherwise without an angel appearing?

@punished_bobda I never really quite know what to say when ppl suggest stuff like that. How do you separate it all out?

Politics is the domain of how people should live, what solutions are best, and how things should be done. So what does it say about a person who says they "want politcs out of religion"?

@TomStringham I was inactive for years and when I returned, expecting the same standards, I was thunderstruck. In its place is odd hostility in the opposite direction aimed at ppl like myself or others who make the mistake of sharing in class. It's frankly bizarre.

Lots of members think the church’s old teachings (on tattoos, Sunday shopping, working as a mom when you don’t need to, etc.) still apply, some others seem to think they don’t and maybe never have. I don’t blame either camp; the last 15 or so years have been genuinely confusing.