Johnny Raj

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@kryder91 It’s not B&E if it’s a party

Starting a trend of throwing surprise house warming parties

IMO easy contender for WTH were they thinking fashion trend is the sockless tuxedo look. Multiple layers of clothing literally everywhere else but let’s go and highlight our hairy ankles

Is there anything trashier than still liking Dane Cook?

Is it just me or are people just blatantly running red lights more often these days?

@minakimes Unlimited cheering in tennis

What's your goofiest sports take that you actually kind of believe? Mine is: If the Bills want to truly get the most out of Josh Allen, they gotta build a dome.

@tweetsgerald_ Herb is a plaaant. Why all these gubmint people say this and that about herb

Does the phrase “lost in translation” get lost in translation?

Sometimes when I order take-out food I look at my phone as if I’m ordering for two. I don’t need the judgment

Food delivery services killed the in-restaurant experience at Chipotle. It’s like a DoorDash drivers’ lounge. Walk ins are treated like second class citizens! Please fix @ChipotleTweets

The island boys definitely do meth right?

Spotify doesn’t have the real Electric Avenue track wtf

No they don’t

I feel cheated by this not taking place in Florida

@tweetsgerald_ @Geoffromtoronto Last vestiges of summer now boys, let’s make ‘em count

@tweetsgerald_ They’re not for everything but I like ‘em. Shirt buttons can be unsightly!

@ZimickMD @londyloo Not a doctor but good tip! Thanks brother

@londyloo When on call keep a light on

I am a deep sleeper. And I have to have alarm clock next to my face or I will sleep through it. Tips for ensuring you don’t sleep through a page in residency?

@kaelajohnson Anything for my fans!

@john_c_rajly 🤣🤣🤣 can’t wait to read more of these amazing tweets on my feed 🤦🏻‍♀️

Stepped into my shower and smelled a funky stench. Thought it might be mold but it was actually just me

The amount of time I spend with my phone battery under 10% would send most normal people to a mental institution

@kryder91 Famously difficult to open. Deep down I think people admire the toughness shown by pickle jars

Would you say that a pickle jar is “infamously difficult to open?” Is that enough to be infamous about?